Dipped Into God

To Remember This Day

2012-01-11T14:37:00.000-05:00

Wednesday

Inside

Dark afternoon

Rain Rain Rain

Mug of Coffee

Babies Sleeping

Pinterest

Dogs uneasy

BOOM!

Curly Sue awake

Scared of thunder

Safe in mommmy's arms

Lullabies

Thumb sucking

Cuddles

Love

A Year in the Life of...

2011-12-30T14:53:00.002-05:00

2011 Edition! This idea came from the blog Pure Imagination who I follow because she is a fellow book addict :)

It's basically a recap of 2011's highs and lows. I am going to post a picture (or 2) for every month to sum it up.

January:

First off, snow. That was my month. Me & Autumn practically spent the entire month indoors. If you'll take a minute and notice that snow hanging off of the awning in the above picture...that fell on my head when I walked under it!

This is a small portion of birthday presents I received (yes, I like to color sometimes, don't hate). Notice my mom wrote "when Chris is not at home". That was also my month. This year we spent all 3 of our birthdays (mine, his, and our daughter's) apart. Lots of time to catch up on my coloring.

February:

Valentine's Day (also spent without the Hubs)

My hair was so SHORT!! Holy cow. And Baby Girl didn't really have much hair...we both look so different now!

Baby Girl's curls begin to emerge! I know that is not the most exciting of events, but at this point we still weren't really leaving the house. Living in a foreign country that is covered in snow is a little intimidating ;)

Also in February we found out we miscarried (on our anniversary).

March:

We got the best news ever on March 1st! Woo-Hoo!!

April:

Finally, we got to TRAVEL!!

Bamberg, Germany

Neuschwanstein Castle

Regensberg, Germany

Prague, Czech Republic

Somebody turned ONE!!

May:

I got nothing, but here is a hilarious picture :)

June:

The Casing of the Colors Ceremony represents the last official event of Chris' brigade before they deploy to Afghanistan. They encased the brigade flags which will not be displayed again until they get to Afghanistan.

Military Ball. I like the fact that we aren't wearing our fancy shoes. It's our true colors shining through :)

July:

Last day with her daddy for a long long time :( A very hard day/month.

August:

I think we went to the pool every day in August. TN is so frickin' HOT

September:

We <3 football parties!

Plus a trip to WV to see Bella! (And the family there too, I suppose...hehe)

October:

Looking pretty preggo...

Trick or Treating in WV!

November:

Fantasy of Trees

December:

I think it's safe to say that this little guy's birth trumphed the holiday's this year ;)

Aaaaaaand, one more:

OH. MY. GOSH. Is he handsome or what??????

There is my 2011...it wasn't awful, but I am hoping for a better 2012 where I see my husband more and travel more! (Not travel as in move back to America to live with my parents and have a baby while my husband is deployed, but travel as in SEE THE WORLD!) :)

To Remember This Day

2011-12-19T21:41:00.000-05:00

Monday

Dreary

Barking Dog

Little girl singing...

in her very own language...

with her very own beautiful voice

Baby boy grunting

as only babies do

Sun(set) breaking through the clouds

Airplane flying

Lonely

Meeting my friend

Sweet words fall from her lips:

Dirty D shortened by one month

Heavy heart now light

To Remember This Day

2011-12-13T17:53:00.000-05:00

Tuesday

Sunset

Winter Trees

Puffy Clouds

Christmas Lights

Crisp Air

Moby Wrap

Sleeping Baby Boy

Curly Headed Toddler

Handful of Rocks

Mimicking Mommy

Missing Daddy

Single Momma

Lonesome

At Peace

For those of you not on FB

2011-11-30T20:09:00.001-05:00

I know what you're thinking, who in the world isn't on Facebook?? Well, my brother & father for starters :)

Here is a link for my fall pics that I have posted on FB (pics from Sept-Nov). Just wanted to share!

Most of them are of my child. I really tried hard not to do that & to keep taking pictures of my friends and pets, but she makes every picture so much cuter. It's a lost cause at this point. Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150329789486973.341863.508466972&type=1&l=a89fe63935

Things You Need to Know

2011-11-26T13:05:00.001-05:00

Things you need to know: Pregnancy Edition
AKA: Things I wish people had told me before I had a baby
Brought to you by Meg :)

1.) When you become pregnant & tell people, you hear everything from everyone. You will hear about the good, the bad, the beautiful, & the ugly. People tend to assume that whatever kind of pregnancy they had is also what you will experience. This is not the case. Try to take everything you hear with a small (or large, depending on the source!) grain of salt. It is not all roses and it is not all thorns. There are good moments and there are hard moments. The only thing you really need to know is: you are unique and your emotions are not wrong! If you are worried about your mental state, then talk to your doctor or seek out a counselor. I am a mega big fan of Christ-based counseling!

2.) Pregnancy is messy. It's a wonderful miracle, yes, but it's messy.   I won't go into details, but just be prepared to have your body do some funky things. If you haven't had a baby and you wonder what on earth on I'm talking about, feel free to email me :)

3.) Your recovery may be worse than the actualy pregnancy/labor. With my first baby, recovery was so much harder and challenging and painful than any other part of the process. This is not the case for everyone, but dont assume once that baby comes out, your body is going to feel good. Mine was a wreck.   It did heal eventually, of course, but the pain after labor was something no one warned me about and it sucked. Obviously, since I'm happily pregnant again, it was worth it though!

4.) Someone will always comment on how you are carrying your baby.  Big or small or high or low. It means nothing. Don't take it to heart. Just listen to your doctor and tell everyone else to shut it. Or you can be like me, smile politely, and then completely ignore their comments, ha! I carry small. I don't look like I'm ready to pop so some people worry, but that's just how my body carries babies. My friend carries large and even though she is 5 weeks behind me, she looks more pregnant than me so people worry. But again, that's just how her body carries babies. If your doctor isn't worried, you shouldn't be!

5.) A LOT of things people tell you will be old wives tales. Be nice to people, but don't believe them! Check with a medical professional about anything you want. One time I was seeing a "spot" in my vision & thought I was crazy. I felt really stupid asking about it, but some pregnant women see black spots in their peripheral vision. Did you know that? I didn't! And if I had gone to my friends and family, only the Lord knows what kinds of advice/opinions I would have heard.

6.) It is not true you will never take a hot shower or read a book again. Simply not true.

7.) For a lot of people, pregnancy is hard. Even if they reeealllyy want to be pregnant, it's hard. Not for everyone, but for more people than admit it I think! People think that if they admit to not loving their pregnancy, then it makes them a bad person or a bad parent. I'm here to tell you that I am a very good mom to my daughter (& will be to my son) and love her more than words can express, but really didn't like being pregnant with her (or now either!). At all. It does not make me less of a person or less of a parent or less of a woman. God hand crafted my personality when he knit me in my mother's womb & He doesn't make mistakes. And someone may love being pregnant & be a crappy parent. Okay? So know that you may love being pregnant, but you may not. And it's ok to be honest about your feelings to people you trust. My mom loved every second of being pregnant, but she doesn't hold it against me that I don't.  How you feel about your pregnancy is not indicative to how you will feel about your baby!! Trust me!

Bucket List

2011-11-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever do any of my bucket list items. Hopefully some of them at least, although all of them are definitely possible. I really think the hubs will get me a chinchilla one day. This next one is one of the maybes.

I would love and I mean really love love love to see Bebo Norman in concert. Well, I actually would love to meet him and be his friend, but let's at least try to make my bucket list realistic. I absolutely love his music. Normally I like bands such as Death Cab for Cutie, Cake back in the day, Greenday, American Rejects, etc. But there is something about Bebo Norman's lyrics combined with his folksy style that just makes me happy :)

The man's Christmas album seriously makes me cry. He is passing through Nashville on a Christmas tour on December FIRST. I am due December 7th. Unfair. When "Myself When I Am Real" came out, I listened to it non freaking stop for a month or two. I looked him up tonight and I only have 5 out of 8 CD's! I need to get crackin'. I haven't bought one in years so that's why.

Anyway, that's all. Sorry this post is so scattered and poorly written. I am recovering from a cupcake overload.

Learning is Fun! Weekly Post

2011-11-12T20:42:00.001-05:00

So, I have not taken the time to get my ducks in a row for next week. Or however that saying goes. I have been working on another project so that's part of it. I can only put so much time into actively finding challenging and educational and fun things to do with Autumn. I mean, I do have to take care of her 24/7 :) Literally, 24/7 with the Hubs gone! I get breaks from her when I go to the doctor! haha

The project I was working on was "acitvity boxes" (called "quiet boxes" on other blogs). But mine aren't necessarily for quiet time so I changed them to activity boxes. My dad watches TV at night and recently Autumn has become very interested in it so I made 5 boxes to explore and play with before bedtime so she doesn't watch all that TV. We tried out the first one tonight and it went really well! She played with the stuff in her box for 30ish minutes and then I sat down and played with her so she played some more! I hope that track record keeps up. We only need to kill about an hour because she goes to bed at 7:30 and dad doesn't normally turn the TV on until 6pm.

So, anyway...all that to say I don't have any activities lined up for this next week!
But here's how last week went (age attempted 18 months):

1. Learn where her ankle is located: yep!
2. Learn to sign cat: kind of. She kind of grabs and pulls at her face...but she'll get it :)
3. Cloth Pull: We did this and she enjoyed it. I think she likes opening and shutting the lid (via the little button) better than pulling the cloth out though.
4. Leaf Bracelet: Um, no not so much. She did not think it was cool at all to stick things to her duct tape bracelet and in fact, kept saying "off, off, off" :)
5. Pushing Puff Balls: Mommy fail

6. Glue primary color shapes to paper: yep...

But we used double sided tape instead of glue because we're cool like that.

To my knowledge we didn't do anything extra either :(

Well, I took her to a baby gym for a MOPS playdate which is fun and a good learning opportunity so I say that counts. But, yeah, that's it. Hey, you can't win them all :)

I will come up with more to do with the munchkisimo soon and post again!

Link Up: Baby Girl's Nursery

2011-11-09T20:23:00.004-05:00

Yep, that's right, I'm calling it a nursery until she is out of her crib...which is maybe 5 or 6 months :)
Paula Kathlyn from The Patriotic Peacock is doing a link-up to see your baby/child's nursery/room. The link is here. Here is my sweet pea's room while we are in TN (7 more months until we go back to Germany)! This is her 3rd nursery in 18 months (got you beat timewise Kathlyn!). Her first nursery in Oklahoma was the best one I think. Her nursery in Germany was pretty crapalicious because we needed steel nails to actually hang stuff up and plus the Hubs was hardly ever at home. This nursery is not bad at all, but most of the decor came from my mom and my mother-in-law since I didn't have anything!

Her growth chart I made for her a couple of months ago! It actually matches her bird bedding in Germany but oh well! It's still cute! The toilet paper really makes the picture, dont ya think?

The glider my mama bought for me to use! A humidifier (if you live in the South with a child who has allergies, it's pretty much a necessity) and flower knobs from my MIL. We bought some lovely cream colored black out curtains...but haven't hung them up yet! Maybe this weekend ;)

Her crib from my in-laws and a special homemade blanket. Plus, flower wall decals from my MIL.

Fabric covered letters I decorated! I am quite proud of them. When I look at them, they make me happy :) Wish I had a close up to show you, but I don't and she's sleeping right now. On the top shelf is her picture of daddy she kisses at night and in the morning. There's some stuffed bears and some books that she isn't ready for yet. Plus a noise machine and her moniter!

Her dresser and mirror that my mama bought!

And this is a canvas thingy I made, but haven't hung up yet. You can't tell in the picture, but those are Martha Stewart gold glitter butterflies and the wings are 3-D! They are soo pertty!

There it is! Hope you enjoyed the pictures. It's a pretty peaceful room as long as I keep it clean ;) My next project is my baby boy's nursery who will be here in a few weeks and who is sharing a room with me! And, I haven't done much at all for it yet! Eek!! I like to live life on the edge ;)

One day (maybe in Germany) I really hope to devote some time and energy to the nurseries. I just love the thought of having beautiful rooms for my babies, but haven't exactly been in the easiest situation to make that happen! One day...

If you want to link up your baby or child's room, head over to the Patriotic Peacock and share!

A Giveaway from Jenae

2011-11-07T13:20:00.000-05:00

My post title may rhyme. I don't actually know how to say the name "Jenae" so I'm not sure. In my head, it's "Jen-aye" with the emphasis on the "aye" but I could be wrong. But if I'm right, then my post title does rhyme! How fun and dorky! ;)

Anyway, Jenae from I Can Teach My Child is having an awesome giveaway and if I share the giveaway I get an extra point. But even if it's lessens my chances of winning, you all should definitely check out her website if you have children in your life. It is one of the very few I read daily if at all possible. She is a Christian and a creative, hands on mom to two young boys.

The giveaway is these spectacular advent boxes that she made herself for every day in December before Christmas. There is a little trinket in each box with a bible verse or story to talk about with your children. Last year she made some and gave them away to some of her friends. Wish I had been one of them! :) Here is the giveaway link: Advent Boxes Giveaway

It is something I would love to win, of course, but even if I don't, I am so making them for Baby Girl (either this year or next). I mean, they are awesome!

If you aren't interested in the giveaway, I would still encourage you to check out her website if you are a mom (or a dad...or a grandparent...or a babysitter...or anyone who works with young 'uns)!

An experiment

2011-11-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

So, Jon Acuff wrote a blog post called "The biggest lie about travel we all believe" from his website Stuff Christians Like. To summarize it in one sentence as he did: "You don't need a plane ticket to be distant from your family". He talks about how he travels a lot, but he makes it a priority to stay connected and when he is home, he is home. Not off in facebook or twitter or blog land.

At first, I thought, "Amen Jon!" And then I thought, wait a minute...do I do that?? So I spent yesterday evening lying in bed analyzing our day and being consumed with guilt. It was not a typical day...I don't think at least... but nonetheless it was not my most stellar day as a mommy.

My daughter does an excellent job of entertaining herself. She has a wonderful imagination. She talks to her stuffed animals and "reads" (note: looks at pictures) and takes her toys apart and puts them back together. She will even just look out the window sometimes! It is a good thing, of course, but unfortunately, it feeds my laziness. And if there is anything I HATE in this life, it is my natural inclination to be lazy.

The thing that is so convicting is that while she is happy playing by herself, she is super duper happy when her mommy plays with her. She, like every other child ever born, loves attention and affection and fun! She loves her stuffed Elmo (who was having a conversation with her little red bear a few minutes ago:) ), but she loves talking to her mommy more than her Elmo and she would rather read a book with me than by herself. That's the simple, but profound, truth.

So, I have challenged myself to be 100% internet free while I am with her from tomorrow until Thanksgiving. That's right. 100% free. I don't know if it sounds easy to you or not, but when the Internet is literally at my fingertips via my smart phone, it is not going to be easy for me. It is going to be challenging. It is going to test my self discipline. It is probably going to test my patience. But I also think it is going to enrich my daughter's life. I think it is going to make us closer. I think it is going to be hard, but worth it and in the end, awesome!

Pray for me ;) No, really, pray for me! I'll let you know how it is going in a day or two!

Learning is Fun Weekly Post

2011-11-05T10:10:00.000-04:00

So, yeah, I might have to not call it a weekly post if this track record stays strong.

So to recap, here were my goals from 2 weeks ago (age attempted 18 months):
1. Play with hats-I knew that wasn't going to happen. Why did I even put it down?
2. Bubbles-check, check.
3. Color with red, blue, yellow-we have done this a lot! I think I was making up for slacking the previous week or something. She is starting to notice the color red. I think. Maybe. :)
4. Learn where her thumb is: Yes, that was easy.
5. Learn to sign "daddy" and "help". She can do both of them, but doesn't do them unprompted. I'm not too worried about daddy since she can say that, but I would like for her to use help since she just gets mad and starts crying when she can't do something.
6. Boo at the Zoo: so much fun! Crazy and chaotic, but fun!
7. Crunch in some leaves: We did this last week and today. She has a lot of fun with it. I should take some pics. Or maybe a video. We also made a big pile and she walks through it and kicks it around.
8. Hula Hoop: mommy fail.

Extra Activities:

9. Fall Sensory Tub. Pine needles, acorns, holly (with the thorns cut off), and pine cones. She didn't really enjoy playing with that one. What I did instead was get some heavy cardboard and cut out a wreath shape and we glued all the goodies to the wreath (she stuck the pine needles on and I glued the acorns and the holly) . It turned out quite beautiful :) The coolest thing about this activity was all that stuff was in the back yard!
10. Halloween Sensory Tub. Black beans, pumpkin seeds, little skeletons, pumpkin erasers, fake spiders, and Halloween finger puppets. She enjoyed this one much more. Her favorite thing to do with the tub was did out the pumpkin seeds and the little pumpkins from the black beans. Here she is giving a black cat finger puppet she found a kiss :)

Luckily it was warm enough to play with outside because sensory tubs are quite messy! I'm not sure how we are going to do them this winter.

11. Does trick or treating count as an activity? I think it should :)

SO...for next week, we have:

1. Learn where her ankles are on her body.

2. Learn to sign "cat"

3. "Cloth Pull" found here.

4. "Leaf Bracelet" found here.

5. "Pushing Puff Balls" found here.
6. Glue red, yellow, blue shapes onto paper (probably just circles and squares).
7. Song/Nursery Rhyme of the Week: "This old man...he played one"
8. Book of the Week: "The Potty Book for Girls". Not that I am comitting to anything, but it never hurts to prepare...

I'm Tired

2011-11-01T21:18:00.000-04:00

So so tired.

I'm tired of a lot. Was I this tired with my last pregnancy? My last pregnancy wasn't this emotionally challenging, that's for sure. Although, at the time, I thought that pregnancy was plenty emotional for me. Do they get harder? I thought they would get easier, but maybe God just breaking me in slowly...scary thought! If there is a 3rd pregnancy, I hope it's easy peasy on the emotional side of things! And everything else too. And, how quickly I get off subject!

I'm tired. Here are some things I am tired of (warning: mini vent):

-tired of being so sleepy every morning, afternoon, evening
-tired of trying to be the best mom I can be
-tired of cooking dinner
-tired of feeling guilty over not making my bed
-tired of being responsible with our money
-tired of all my parent's pets
-tired of my daughter's beautiful curls (awful of me to not be thankful for them 24/7 I know, but it's true. That wild hair is hard to handle some days)
-tired of being behind in bible study
-tired of oversleeping/not being disciplined enough to go to bed early
-tired of feeling fat/ugly/unkempt/etc

Well, that's seems like plenty so I'll stop. I guess when you boil it all down, I'm kind of tired of life. I know I am blessed and I know God is good to me. I love the Lord and I wouldn't change much about my life right now...well, maybe that whole Hubby in the desert thing, but I trust we are in God's will right now.

People talk about "nesting". So far, I say that's a myth. I didn't nest during either one of my pregnancies. I don't know if I'm defunct somehow or my ever unstable life makes nesting especially difficult. Grrr.

That's all. I'm tired.

I'll Tell You a Secret

2011-10-24T14:30:00.000-04:00

I love love love Martha Stewart. It's true.

BUT, I am scared of her. If we were friends, she would totally hurt my soft feelings so I hope I never meet her. Unless it's in Heaven, then we'll both be whole and healthy and like Jesus so we should get along ;)

Learning is Fun! Weekly post

2011-10-18T10:51:00.000-04:00

Gosh, I can't believe I haven't been posting between these learning posts. I guess I could try to do better ;-)

So, this is how we did this past week: (Age attempted was 18 months)

1.) Practice climbing down stairs: Check. She did so good with this. She kind of knew how to do it before, but not very well and now that I have purposefully taken time to practice with her, she does really well and I don't have to freak out when I am putting away clothes and she is running around :)
2.) Sidewalk Chalk: OMGosh she loves sidewalk chalk!! She is obsessed now. I don't love it since it gets ALL OVER her clothes, but she loves toddling around everywhere "chalking" everything and making her mark. All the bricks and rocks and tree trunks now have chalk lines (or at least they will until it rains!).
3.) Color again with Red, Blue, Yellow crayons: Mommy fail.
4.) Learn where her "bottom" is: I think she knows. Sometimes she points to her belly, but I think she mostly knows.
5.) Signs "dad" and "help": Mommy fail with "dad" :( With "help" she does pretty well mimicking me, but she doesn't do it on her own yet. She did, however, for the first time ever sign "please" today totally umprompted!!

6.) Drop clothespins in a bottle: check. Proof:

She did very well with this.

7.) Pumpkin Patch: Lots of fun!

Love her :)

8.) Dance: we did this a lot! Mostly with me holding her (not for very long. This preggo chick gets tired easily!). I should give her more practice and encourage her to dance all by herself.

Additional Activities:

9.) We rode on a train which was a fun learning experience. I heard "choo choo" for several days afterwards :)

10.) Played with bubbles!!

Next week's activities:

1.) Play with hats (I don't really have any hats, but maybe I can scrounge some up)

2.) Bubbles again

3.) Color with red, yellow, blue (why am I such a slacker when it comes to this simple activity?!)

4.) Learn where her "thumb" is (should be easy since it's always in her mouth)

5.) Keep learning how to sign "dad" and "help"

6.) Go to Boo at the Zoo (yay! I'm so excited about this!)

7.) Crunch in some leaves if we can find any

8.) Play with a Hula Hoop if I can find one at the dollar store

9.) Featured Book (a book we read every day): "Elmo's First Book of Colors"

Learning is Fun! Weekly Post

2011-10-11T13:07:00.001-04:00

I'm a day late!

Here is how last week went:
(By the way, age attempted is 18 months)

1.) Stacking Blocks: I actually have misplaced them at the moment, but she did play with them several times and really liked them. She can stack 3 blocks.
2.) Sidewalk Chalk: Mommy fail
3.) Color with red, blue, and yellow crayons: We only did this once and she kept eating them which was really driving me crazy! She is sooo much better about putting stuff in her mouth when I say no. I guess we better try this again.
4.) Learn to point to eyebrow: I thought she would have some trouble with this, but she learned it in about 10 minutes! It's so unpredictable what she will understand and what she won't. I have been trying to teach her "chin" for weeks and she still just looks at me or sometimes points to her mouth or nose! But, eyebrow? No problem! Maybe it's because she already knew "eye"?
5.) Learn how to sign the word "dad": Mmmm, kind of. She knows how to sign mom and dad is very similar so she sometimes signs mom instead of dad, but I think she will distinguish them easily if I keep working on it with her.
6.) Clothespins in a bottle: Mommy fail :( I have the bottle ready to go-I just have to cut a hole in the side of it. We will definitely get to do this before next Monday!
7.) Pumpkin Patch: My friend's schedule didn't work out so we are supposed to go this Thursday.
8.) Stained glass leaves: We made these, but unfortunately, Baby Girl couldn't do as much as I was hoping. I wanted her to tear up the tissue paper and she did for about 2 minutes and then got bored. She did help me stick the tissue paper on the glue...for about one minute :) Oh well, maybe we'll try again next year!
9.) Read: of course, we do this every day. I'm not even going to put it on the list anymore.

Additional Activities that we did:

10.) Made this:

11.) We painted pumpkins

So, we did 6 out of 9 activities. 67% success rate. Not very good :( Bummer. However, if you add in the 2 additional activities we have a 88% success rate. Ok, enough math. We'll do better next week! Speaking of next week, here's what we have planned:

1.) Practice climbing down stairs
2.) Sidewalk Chalk!!
3.) Color again with red, blue, yellow crayons
4.) Learn where her "bottom" is
5.) Keep practicing "dad" and learn how to sign "help"
6.) Drop clothespin in a 2-liter bottle
7.) Pumpkin Patch
8.) Dance to some music!

Learning is Fun! Weekly post

2011-10-02T16:07:00.000-04:00

One thing that I do with Autumn and love love love to do is to play constructively with her. What I mean is I get ideas from other blogs about learning and education and then do something with her other than just reading or letting her entertain herself. My goal is to do these activities several times a week, plus do one artsy/crafty thing a week with her. She is young (17.5 months) so some of these things are very simple. For example, one day we might work on "kicking" a ball (which she still can't do!) or taking a homemade streamer outside and talking about wind. Some are more complicated such as transfering cereal with a spoon from one bowl to another. I would also love to have a themed book focus for each week, but that's not happening yet.

So, why am I writing about this? Well, because some days (weeks) I do better than others and I thought it might help keep me accountable if I have a weekly post about our "goals". I am thinking I can go over the previous's weeks activities and how they went and also write down the next week's planned activities.

SO, for the upcoming week our goals are to:
-Have lots of practice playing with and stacking blocks
-Experiment with sidewalk chalk
-Color with Red, Blue, Yellow Crayons
-Learn to point to the body part "eyebrow" :) (hee hee she may not be able to get this one)
-Learn how to sign the word "dad"
-Drop clothespins into a 2 liter bottle (fine motor skill maybe? I don't know, I just saw the idea somewhere)
-Go to a Pumpkin Patch (this may or may not happen depending on my friend's availability)
-Make stained glass leaves, found here.
-Read, read, read (which is a given and we do every day whether I want to or not! (My child is a bookaholic!)

That's not too much, is it? Some of those are really easy and will only take minutes to do. Plus, I don't work and I only have one child (for now) so I have lots of time to play with her!

I need to figure out what to call these weekly postings. Playtime with the beast? No! Just kidding. Ummm, learning is fun? I feel like I've heard that somewhere before, but surely it's not copyrighted so we'll go with that for now I guess. I guess I'll update on Mondays how the previous week went. Who's excited? Me! :)

A photo I made from Picnik.com!

2011-09-26T20:53:00.003-04:00

GMG Week One

2011-09-21T07:40:00.000-04:00

Wow! Time just keeps on truckin'. Hubby has been gone for 2.5 months! Some days go slow, but most have gone by pretty fast. I guess I can thank my toddler for that ;) She keeps me busy, but oh what JOY she brings to everyone around her. I mean, how can you not love this face???

Anyhoo, onto bible stuff! I joined an online bible study. Maybe you've heard of it? It's called "Good Morning Girls" and it's all about getting up early in the morning (I got up at 6:20am today-big deal for me!) and spending time in God's Word. I have only done 3 days, but I love it! This week we only read one verse a day and so you have lots of time to think about it or look up the Greek words or anything that like. Today they are having a link-up party. Here's their website: www.goodmorninggirls.org They have a button too, but since they don't have the code I surely don't know how to paste it! I can probably figure it out later. Today we are just supposed to blog about what we are learning (in the 3 verses we read!).

The main thing God revealed to me this week was the way John keeps using the word "Proclaim" (I'm reading the NIV). The Greek word (apaggello) means "make known openly, declare" according to www.blueletterbible.org. So I have been thinking about what I declare not with my mouth, but with my life. I found that I represent 3 things with my actions in this order: 1.) I am a mommy 2.) I am a Christian 3.) I am a wife. Don't get me wrong, those are 3 wonderful things to be and I love being all those things, but did you notice what order they are in? They are completely whacked! It's supposed to go: Christian, Wife, Mommy...right? Well, that's what I believe anyway.

When people look at me, they see mommy for sure. I am pregnant first of all, but I am also very mommy-ish with Baby Girl. We "talk" to each other in the grocery store. I just chat her up like she's an adult "Do you think this is enough yogurt, sweetie?" No response of course. "Yeah, you're right we need more". I also post pictures on FB of crafts we do or things she says. I mean, my life right now screams "Mommy". Then I'm a Christian. I talk about going to church or getting up early to read my Bible or on FB I'll put as my status "Off to bible study! So glad I found these girls!". You know, things like that. Lastly, I'm a wife. I don't often put things up about Hubby because I worry that people will think I feel sorry for myself or wanting attention. I don't even tell most new people I meet that he is deployed because you always get that sad look from people and then they inevitably say "Oh, I don't know how you do it" or "that must be really hard" or "I admire you". I know they mean well, but I am still a normal person! If you tell me your husband is a doctor, I don't stick out my sad lip and say "Oh, I bet it is really hard being a doctor's wife". I say "Oh, that's cool. What kind of doctor?"

OKAAAY, off my tangent! Sorry about that. Back to the point of this post, my life is out of order. I am not sure that it matters what people see exactly, but it does matter how I see myself and how I live my life and really want to put God first, Hubby second, and kiddos third. Which means when Hubby calls, I make time to talk to him. If that means I put Baby Girl in front of the TV for 20 mins, then I just need to suck it up and do it. That means that I pray to God before anything else when things arise during my day. That means if Baby Girl keeps me up at night, I still get up and give God part of my day. Changes, I tell you! Changes! :)

Ok, guess who's awake now?? Hint: She's tiny and she's gorgeous! Haha, I was about done anyway. Great morning in the Word and it's going to be a great day!

Toddler Summary-16.5 months

2011-09-03T20:28:00.001-04:00

I realize it would be better to have a 16 month summary or a 17 month summary, but it's September the 3rd and I feel like doing it now. So there. :)

Eating
She is still a fruit head and a carb head. I have started giving her smoothies sometimes for breakfast and she loooooves them. She still doesn't eat much meat. She won't eat my awesome, handbreaded chicken nuggets but she will eat Chick-fil-A's! Hmph. She also won't eat my sweet potato fries. Hmph. Toddlers are picky!

Sleeping
She was sleeping 8-8 until about 3 days ago when she started waking up from more teeth coming in (I think)! She finally dropped a nap so she's down to one a day. I thought that would be a drag, but it's made my life easier not having to get all my errands and playdates over and done with in an hour or two. So now she naps from noon-ish to two-ish and all is well :)

Teething
Her 1st molars finally came in and she was sleeping really well again until 3 days ago as I previously wrote. No new teeth have broken the surface yet but I assume it is her canine's since they are supposed to come next and she's been pretty textbook so far. I also must admit that at first I wrote K-9's, but at least I knew something looked wrong!

Playtime/Reading
She is really getting into her chunky puzzles. I don't know when babies are supposed to learn colors, but she so does not get the concept! She tries to put the red triangle into any of the holes, etc. She loves to color with markers. Crayons are ok, but markers are her favorite. She is also starting to listen and sit still to an entire (short) book which is so fun for me! We read A LOT. The chick is a reader. I don't know how many books we read a day-I should keep track just to see sometime. She also likes going outside (but what kid doesn't, really?) and loves to play in the water. I have started showing her bugs and butterflies and she thinks they are pretty cool. She loves that game where you say "I'm going to get you" and chase her around the house! It is so fun!

Other

She is learning how to climb down stairs. She climbs up really well. She is starting to "talk" a lot and she knows a lot of words. She is also starting to say 2-syllable words and phrases (apple, all gone, color). Her hair is super super curly and stays out of control! So I have started putting it in pigtails which makes it much more manageable for mommy :)

Cutie pie in her pigtails :)

Mmmmm, can't think of anything else to say! Have a great Sunday tomorrow!

But it doesn't look like a Meg life!

2011-08-16T07:40:00.001-04:00

It's funny where you find yourself sometimes in life. Not funny so much as confusing. Well, I don't know the word exactly. I'm sure everyone feels this way sometimes. Like..."What on earth am I doing in this life"? "Is this really my life"? "Why is this my life"? "God, I don't understand". I look at my life from the outside and it doesn't look like a Meg life (as I thought it would or should). It doesn't look or feel like a life that I wanted or requested or sought after or desired. I don't mean for it to sound like I'm complaining. My life hasn't been easy lately, but it's not been awful or anything either. I don't mean to complain as much as I mean to wonder, "How in the world did I end up here and why"? It's kind of like I just don't get it. How did I, who moved out after high-school and never came back, become a 30-year-old living with my parents? How did I, someone who loved loved loved to work, become a full-time stay at home mom (who is considering home-schooling to boot!)? How did I, someone who never thought about taking pride in my country, become a US soldier's wife? I thought I would end up single living in a remote village somewhere working with children or women. That's what I wanted. I mean, that's what I thought I wanted. I never really wanted or prayed for a husband until I met mine! I never thought I wanted a lot of children and now I want to have my own and adopt. And now I'm here in Tennessee away from my husband getting ready to have my second baby living in my parents suburban home. I look back over the last 4 years and wonder how on earth did I get here?? I wonder, "God, when you gave me this life, did you realize You were giving it to me, Meg"? "Are you sure I can do this and be happy and content and a solid Believer to boot"? My thoughts are all jumbled now and I'm a bit confused, but I want to again reiterate I am not complaining. I love my husband and my babies more than I have ever loved anything or anyone and wouldn't trade them for anything. I am so happy and grateful and blessed that God saw fit to change my plan and give me the love of my life and 2 wonderful babies that I have the priviledge to stay at home and raise full-time. I don't actually have doubts that God made a mistake. I firmly believe that His hand has been in every step of my life and I am exactly where He wants me for now. And I also know that we don't always understand God's ways, but I do trust Him and I will (hopefully) always choose his choices for my life over my own. Because like I am always so ready to proclaim, He knows better than us what we need and if left to my own devices, I would royally screw up my life. I'll just say I am looking forward to the day (even if that day doesn't come until Heaven) when it all clicks and I see the big picture and why there is this "odd" season in my life. Or at least why things turned out so differently than I once thought they would. Which I'm happy about, I just think it's weird how I had such different ideas about what God wanted out of me. Ok, I'm going to stop because like I said, my thoughts are all jumbled and I am probably confusing you :)

Baby Journey-Week 23

2011-08-14T13:59:00.000-04:00

Soooo....I started these with my second pregnancy. And then I miscarried. And when I got pregnant again, we didn't tell anyone for a long time and then I time just slipped away. But, hey, better late than never, right?

We have a mango! What a cute analogy. Well, not really an analogy, but what a cute something.

The Babe: He can hear noises which is great because he will know the sounds of my voice and definitely Baby Girl's voice too! She talks waaaay more than me and is waaaay louder :) Also, last night, I could physically see him moving inside of me! Totally weird. But nice too.

Here is what I pretty much look like now. (Picture taken a week ago & that's me on the left)

Just so you don't think we're weird, we are both pregnant and purposely holding our preggo bellies together :) I was 22 weeks and she was 18 weeks. I think.

Symptoms: Ummm, not much. I'm physically getting uncomfortable when sleeping or sitting on the ground. I get out of breathe easily. It is also getting hard for me to lower Baby Girl into her crib. Not sure what I'm going to do about that.

Weight: No idea. Sorry. I have an appointment tomorrow and maybe I'll see then how much I've gained. I think 3 weeks ago I had gained 12 pounds, but that seems like a lot! I'm probably wrong.

Name: We had a name and we told everyone, but now we're not sure again. Sheesh. Back to square one!

What I Miss: My husband. Ok, ok, for real, what I miss from pre-preggo days is my not huge belly and my extensive lung capacity and being able to get off the floor in 1 second flat.

Best Pregnancy Moment this week: Hmmm...I don't know. Someone at the Farmer's Market said when my husband came back things would be different and she was referencing my belly and she was the first person to notice I was pregnant (and say something) that didn't already know so that was cool.

Questions/Concerns: I watched this documentary called "The Business of Being Born" and it really freaked me out. So I can't wait to meet my MD (no, I still haven't met her yet!) and ask about C-sections, pitocin, and epidurals. I've also been having some sharp pains (not cramps) that I want to make sure are normal.

Ok, that's all I got!

Time For A Change

2011-08-04T13:03:00.000-04:00

A spiritual change that is. I don't know how many times I have thought "Something needs to change". I think it often because it is true. I am living my life with minimal contact with my Heavenly Father and minimal thought about it. No, that's not true. I think "something needs to change" all the time, but what? I don't know. Being in Germany was very, very hard for me. It zapped me spiritually. I got to a point where I didn't even think about God most of the time. I was depressed, lonely, and miserable. Not an excuse, of course, just the way things were. I firmly believe your relationship with God should never be defined by your circumstances, but believing that and living that belief out are vastly different. At least for me.

So, here I am. Back in America, which is wonderful. Call me crazy, but I am already feeling closer to God. Part of that is because he took away my rock (and sometimes if I'm being honest my "idol"). Of course I mean my husband. Looking back over this past month without him, I can see how I definitely depended on him too much. Depended on him way more than God. I relied on my husband to cheer me up, to motivate me to clean, to hold me accountable, to make me feel confident, to make me feel pretty, and to fix all my problems. So, by taking him away, God has forced me to turn to Him in my hard moments...a thing I wouldn't have done if my husband was still around.

Part of me feeling closer to God is that I went to church last week and worshipped God. Worshipping through music in a communal setting is like breathing air to me. And I went without that for 7 months. We did go to church sometimes in Germany, but the music wasn't what spoke to my soul. No judgment here, just the way things were. People meet God through all kinds of avenues, and the biggest one for me is the worship I cut my Christian teeth on which as far as I can tell, Germany doesn't offer. I know it sounds funny to say "Germany" like I mean the entire country, but what I really mean is the American churches we visited. I'll of course have to deal with that again when we go back, but I'll deal with that a year from now. Let's not borrow problems meant for tomorrow, ok? :)

Sorry to jump around a bit, but to go back to the topic at hand. It's time for a change. I want to get right with God. No, I don't know how exactly to do that. I am committing to pray every day for my husband and I think that will help me connect with God since the only time I pray now is when someone specifically asks me to. So getting in the habit to pray daily will help, right? I am hoping that although I am praying for my husband, my prayer life will expand from that and it will be more intimate with God like it used to be.

Another thing I am hopefully committing to is to join a Christian Women's Bible Study. I say hopefully because I hope I can find one! I had a wonderful women's bible study before we moved across the ocean and it held me accountable for a lot. But, you know, 7 months without one kind of drug me down. So if I can find one, I will be joining it!

I also want to have some kind of regular time spent with God. I'm not foolish enough to think it will be daily, but I am hoping several times a week. This is going to take self-discipline and I'm quite fearful I can't do it, but I want to give it my best shot. It is hard for me even to admit that because back in college and after that for a couple of years I used to spend a minimum of an hour with God evey day reading and praying and even singing. How did I get so far away from that? Life is harder than it looks! :)

So feel free to ask me how I'm doing because as you can see, I'm quite the open book :)

I'll Tell You a Secret

2011-08-03T19:59:00.000-04:00

I love the Disney Channel. Definitely my favorite cable station. As a matter of fact, I am watching it right now because Baby Girl is sleeping and mom and dad are at church. Actually, I pretty much watch it whenever I am alone and don't feel like reading.

Don't tell anyone-it's kinda embarassing :)

Toddler Summary-15 months

2011-08-02T21:27:00.000-04:00

I'm not organized/disciplined enough to do this regularly, but I thought that even randomly done will be a good reference for the future!

Eating
Baby Girl is a pretty good eater. She will try new things and I think eats a decent amount. I think she ate a little more when she was younger, but I heard that after the age of 1, babies growth rates slow down so they don't need as much "fuel" so I'm not too worried. She LOVES fruit! Fruit for breakfast, fruit for lunch, fruit for dinner. She also loves bread. Those are the two things that I can always give her if she is feeling picky. For breakfast, she eats one packet of instant oatmeal plus fruit and I share my cereal with her too. For lunch, she eats some kind of veggie (peas, corn, sweet potato, green beans), some kind of fruit, and some carb (puffs, Ritz whole wheat crackers). On days I'm worn out, I feed her a Lunchable :) For dinner, she eats whatever we eat-normally some kind of rice and fruit. She still won't eat meat unless it is ground up (chicken nugget or those vienna sausage thingies for babies). Dinner is her smallest meal. During the day she also snacks on puffs or cranberries or animal crackers. She is drinking a little bit more water (a little bit). Her milk intake has seriously gone down this past week which worries me. We have a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks so I'll ask her about it then.

Sleeping
This poor girl has been through so much this past month it is really hard to tell what her sleeping patterns are. She goes to bed at 7:30 and used to sleep until 8, but this past week she has been waking up at 6:15! I tried keeping her up an extra half hour tonight and it was awful! The monster is released when you try to deprive that girl of sleep. Seriously, every time I try to cut her sleep I regret it. She is still taking 2 naps a day. I wish I could cut one out so she would sleep more at night, but I'm scared!!

Teething
Yes, she sure is teething! She is cutting her bottom 1st molars and is definitely struggling. She cut her top 1st molars in Germany with very little disruption, but these bottom ones are giving her a time! I am blaming the not drinking milk and not sleeping at night on teething. After all, they both started happening about a week ago. Coincidence? I think not.

Playtime
She's a stud. Plays by herself pretty well, but I don't actually leave the room. I can read or check my email while she talks to her stuffed animals or plays with a toy. A skill I would really like to teach her is to play alone with me in another room, but at my parent's house we dont have a good set up to do that. I guess if I was serious about doing that I could completely baby proof her nursery. We'll see.

Reading
She loves her books which is so wonderful! We read every day. She is not so good at sitting through an entire book unless she is really tired (she is a major wiggle worm after all). She will bring me a book, climb up in my lap, and read about 3 or 4 pages, and then want down. Repeat this process over and over again and you can see what we do a lot. A lot :) She will also pull all her books off of the bookshelf and flip through them by herself. She likes to hear the books her daddy recorded, but again, not for very long. When she hears his voice, she grins up at me and acts like she will listen to the entire book, but no, she won't.

Schedule (in an ideal world that is)
8:00-Wake up & snuggle
8:30-Breakfast
9:00-Reading Time
9:30-Playtime with Mommy
10:00-Milk plus snack
10:30-take a walk or have free time
11:00-Nap
13:00-Lunch
13:30-Sing our daily songs and make music (this week we played with bells)
14:00-Outside time
14:30-Milk plus snack
15:00-Free time/bath every other day
16:00-Nap
17:00-offer milk or juice
17:30-play with her grandpa while I cook dinner
18:30-Dinner
19:00-Milk
19:30-Bed

Part Two!

2011-07-26T20:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, to finish off the trip...

After United guy ditches us, we go to the Customer Service desk which turned out to be zero help! "Sorry, United is not answering the phone, there is nothing I can do". SO we decide to check into a hotel and come back in the morning. I mean, what else can we do?
18:30-Go see hotel guy at airport who is very friendly and helpful. Hooks us up with a Holiday Inn Express. Gives us directions and a pamphlet.
19:00-Off to find hotel! I decide to just do exactly what the hotel guy says direction-wise...which get us lost. Then I decide to actually look at the pamphlet and see that hotel guy left out one piece of information in his directions. So we back track, fix the mistake and arrive at the hotel.
19:30-We arrive at a 4-star Holiday Inn and what we booked was the 3-star Holiday Inn Express! YES, the hotel guy gave us the WRONG directions and the WRONG pamphlet. Holy cow. We try to just stay there except when you book through the airport they charge you 8 Euros and that is non-refundable plus we had already paid 33% of the other hotel (yes, also non-refundable). Can we PLEASE arrive in America and never ever leave?
20:00-So, back to the airport and back to the hotel guy to get correct directions. Which we do.
20:45-Finally, arrive at the correct 3-star hotel. Eat expensive frozen pizza and drink overcharged cola. Crash.

Saturday:
7:00-Get up, shower, eat
8:30-Head to airport.
9:30-Arrive at airport, wait in line, find out that we can come back to try to catch a plane via stand-by, but since we don't have our stuff, it's going to be hard to go back to the hotel and get our stuff and still make the plane. But we sure are going to try! We have to be back by 11:25 at the latest.
10:15-Back at hotel. Rush around, pack, blah, blah, blah. We went ahead and checked out because we had booked two nights in case they were full, but were very optimistic that we would catch a flight. Guess what? When you book through the airport, you can't check out early! Well, you can, but you have to pay for every night you requested. So we got to pay for a night in a hotel we didn't use!! Oh, Europe, your customer service skills are wearing me out.
11:15-Arrive at airport! We made it! Yay!!!
12:25-Sitting on a plane, sitting on a plane (just sing that phrase in your head over and over and you can imagine how happy we were)
8 laters later with a time change, we arrive at the DC airport. It's like 13:30 or something local time. Our next flight was booked for 22:30, but turns out there is a flight that leaves from DC to WV (our destination) at 15:00 or something, but guess what? Because we were assigned the 22:30 flight, we cant switch! America, you disappoint me.
Anyway, we killed 8 hours on a plane with a toddler, then 8 hours in an airport with a toddler, then a short 1 hour flight and then fianlly arrived in WV to visit Hubby's family. We survived and she actually did quite awesome considering what we put her through. Kids are so amazing!

All in all, it sucked, but it was just a trip and I've certainly dealt with worse! But, I'll tell you one thing, I aint flying United again unless I have to!

The Loooooong Trip Over-Part One

2011-07-22T22:18:00.000-04:00

Well. You know that saying "right across the pond"? I used to say that. Once you have had not one, but two not awesome experiences "across the pond", you realize that a 3,000 mile ocean is no pond. I am only halfway joking as I know there are more serious issues in life than pleasant journeys :)

But, for real yo. Check out our craaaazy 48 hour journey.

Friday:
9(am)-ish: Get on train with a.) baby b.) stroller + carseat c.) 2 checked bags d.) 3 carry-ons
While on train, rearrange bags with Hubby. Try to find the "best" way to carry all that crap.
9:15-ish: We have appoximately 2 mins to change trains...with a baby and all our crap
10:30-ish (ok, I am going to quit writing "ish". Just know that I have no exact times!): Realize we are a carry-on short! Which carry-on? Why, the one with our diapers, our social security cards, our passports, our birth certificates, and our plane tickets. Oh yeah, we are awesome. And freaked out. And now very, very sick to our stomachs. Tell attendant who doesn't speak English. Tell attendant via pantomime. Attendant responds "Tell them in Nuremburg" and leaves us. Sad face.
12:30: Arrive in Nuremburg. Go to the office where you go when you are screwed. Guess what? Attendant doesn't speak English! Ok, to be fair, he spoke a little. Enough to realize we are totally freaking out and need HELP. Sit around entertaining poopy pants baby (diapers are in the lost bag, remember? And we are in a German train station so noooo diaper stores!) while Hubs and attendant try to fix our situation.
13:15-Attendant: "They did not find your bag". Begin to hyperventilate. (Not really).
13:17-Ring, Ring! Attendant" Oh wait, they did find your bag". Breathe again, just breathe. This is what we have to do: rent a car, get a German road map, find a rinky dink town we have never heard of with no GPS, go get our bag, drive directly to Frankfurt to attempt to catch our 6pm overnight flight. We go ask about a car. Does the train station have one available? Noooo. However, the airport does and all we have to do is catch the subway, take a 15-min ride, and voila! We can have a car. Go to ticket machine to buy tickets. Insert 20 Euros. Machine only takes 5 or 10 Euro bills. Go to McDonalds to break our large bill. Scarf down burger. Feed baby french fries. Buy tickets and get on Subway.
14:00-Get car.
15:00-Arrive at rinky dink town and drive around for a looong time trying to find the train station. Get bag. Feed baby real food and change poopy pants!
15:30-Give up on catching flight. Decide to drive to Frankfurt in the hopes of getting on a later flight. Call United and sit on hold for a full entire HOUR. Run out of minutes on Hubby's cell phone. Get out my cell phone and call mama! Mama calls United and they tell her the plane is delayed so we still have hope of catching it.
18:00-Arrive at airport and watch our plane fly over our heads (can't know that for sure of course!). Go to United desk, stand in line behind others. German United worker to lady in front of us, "I must go". Lady, "You are just going to walk away from us?" United worker, "Yes, I am". What? Excuse me? Well, Toto, we aren't in Kansas anymore...(but we really wish we were!). Apparantly, the desk closes at 6. On the dot. Redonkulous.

Ok, kids, I gotta stop. I'm giving myself a friggin' headache reliving this trip. Stay tuned for part two!! And a happier ending :)

Wiggle Worm

2011-07-21T12:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I really thought all toddlers were wiggle worms. I wouldn't know personally since I only have the one, but that's what I thought. I thought wrong. We went to-and I absolutely cannot get over the cuteness of this name-"Baby Bookworm Storytime" today at the local library. It's a 30 minute program. You sing a little and then the teacher (who was a dude, but he totally rocked it) reads or just flips through a book depending on the book. After each book, we sing a little song and point out body parts if the book addressed any. For example, today we talked about hair and noses. We sang "Wheels on the Bus", "Pat-A-Cake", the Open-Shut Hand song, and I learned some new ones. We also talked about cows and what noise they make.

Ok, TMI, sorry. Anyway, there were maybe 8 kids there and 6 of them were sitting so nicely in their mommas (no daddys) laps. What? How do they get their kids to do that? My child had to go around and say "Hi" and wave to everyone and then she wanted to show me everyone's "shuz" (Shoes for those of you who don't know baby speak). And the books. Baby Girl loves books. Loves books. I can't say that enough. So every book the teacher was reading, she thought she should have. She did fine when I told her no. She didn't have any meltdowns or anything, but between her wanting to hold every book and wanting to touch everyone's shoes, I stayed busy! Which I am certainly not complaining about. It is my job to parent and I am so proud of her confidence and curiousity. But I am left to the conclusion that all toddlers are not extreme wiggle worms as I once supposed.

It all makes sense now. In my womb, she kicked me all day every day. Seriously, I do not know when the child slept. Then as an infant, she was always moving her arms and her legs. You see those adds where there is a momma gazing down at her little bundled up infant? Not my child! She wanted to stretch and kick and look around! Even as a wee little thing. Once she started crawling, my hope of a snuggle bug really did die. The only time I get to pretend she likes to snuggle is when she is drinking her milk in my lap (4 entire minutes of calm!) and for a few minutes right before bed.

One good thing about her constant motion is the child wears herself out and is a wonderful sleeper. She is 15 months old and is just now starting to go to one nap a day (one really long nap). Some days it's still two. She also sleeps for approximately 12-13 hours every night! Bliss I tell you!

So, as dangerous as it might be, I am planning on Baby Boy being a calm snuggly little thing :) Although I think being active is actually a wonderful trait for a child to have (no matter how much it wears me out) so maybe I should hope I get another wiggle worm! It's a good thing God gets to decide that because I would make the wrong decision for sure.

On the Baby Boy front, I am starting to get excited about having a boy! I have been praying about my heart in this area for months (no joke) and maybe God has determined it's time for some boy love to enter my soul :) I was thinking about teenagers wearing itty bitty bikinis last night (some pictures I saw of teens in barely there swimsuits was really bothering me) and I just thought "Oh, thank goodness I'm having a boy!". And, yes, I know they come with a slew of issues too, but string bikinis isn't one of them!

This afternoon, I get to be reunited with a dear friend of mine from Germany who is coming to live down the street from me! That is how big God is :) It's gets even better. Our moms are friends, both or our husbands are deployed, we both have toddler daughters, and we are both pregnant with boys due a month apart! Sometimes I believe the lie that God doesn't do an adequate job of taking care of me and Baby Girl, but when things like that happen, I am totally humbled and realize how selfish I am to think that my husband could do better than my Creator.

Ok, gotta run. Have a great weekend!

Also, I don't nearly put enough pictures up, so here is one of my precious girl and my precious husband on the day he left.

Long Overdue

2011-07-20T08:35:00.000-04:00

And I would like to say that from now on I will be blogging regularly, but I can't say that with any surety. I think I might blog more since I am finally settled after a crazy crazy crazy 4 weeks. But no promises, ok?! Like everything else in my life I am either at the top of my game...or the bottom. It's a pretty frustrating way to live!

We had a horrible trip from Germany to the States. I thought it couldn't get worse compared to last time and I can't decide if it was worse or a tie! I will be writing about it soon trying to record every gory detail. Trip aside and husband gone aside, I really like America. Air conditioning, Target, family, my own car...pretty amazing stuff!

The kids are both fine. (It is weird to say that!). Well, Baby Girl is definitely fine, Baby Boy (in my belly) hasn't been checked on since June 17th, but I think he's fine too. I have an appointment next week to check on him.

Speaking of Baby Boy, he is quite calm in utero compared to Baby Girl. I rarely feel him kick (I'm at 20 weeks). With my daughter, she kicked me hard all the time. Maybe he'll step it up, but I like the thought of a calm baby/child since Baby Girl never stops moving!! I'll take a snuggler please :)

Speaking of my wiggle worm, I hear her waking up so I gotta run.

Here's to the USA and more blogging!

It's a...

2011-06-28T19:22:00.001-04:00

BOY!!!!!

Now we just need a name for this little feller

What do you think we are having???

2011-06-16T07:33:00.001-04:00

The Countdown is On

2011-06-14T12:07:00.000-04:00

We will soon be returning to America to visit family and then Hubby will return to Germany before deploying and I will stay in sweet sweet Tennessee. Ahhhh, Tennessee. I just love that word :)

Mostly, I'm freaking out because we have so much to do! I am mailing boxes back and trying to pack and trying to clean and do laundry and also don't forget I am taking care of a 14-month-old all day long! Plus I'm pregnant so not exactly at the top of my game. One day at a time, right?

I'm also freaking out about the trip home with our girl. In case you missed the post about the trip over here, here you go: The Move Across The Pond.
It was, in a word, terrible. And I am afraid events are going to repeat themselves. They can't be that bad again, can they? I refuse to re-read that post because I'm already worried about it and if I re-read it then it will just make things worse. Babies are wonderful, but oh. my. word. they sure can run you through the ringer.

In other news, I made finger puppets yesterday :) I thought someone would be more impressed than she was, but oh well. She almost decapitated the butcher. So now she can only play with the baker and the candlestick maker.

Alright, getting hungry. It's time for second breakfast. Actually, its lunchtime! I missed second breakfast today. Dang! Second breakfast is one of the major perks of being pregnant :)

Hope everyone has a great whatever today is! I'm off to eat and to pack!

I'll Tell You a Secret

2011-06-11T01:56:00.000-04:00

Or maybe five since I don't have anything else to blog about.

1.) I eat capers. Straight from the jar. By the forkful. I've done it for years. YUM.

2.) I love love love Jimmy Buffet music! I don't love country and I don't love island music, but I love his music! Wish I could see him in concert. That would be awwwwwwesome.

3.) I used to write poetry. For some reason, that embarrasses me, but I probably have at least 200 poems I've written.

4.) I love being a mom and will stay home as long as I'm able, but I reeeeally miss working. Like, as soon as all my kids are in school (ha! about 8-10 years from now maybe?), I will be getting a part time job even if it pays minimum wage.

5.) At least one day a week I don't get out of my PJ's until my husband texts me that he's on his way home. Well, maybe one day every two weeks :)

Boy or Girl?

2011-06-09T07:17:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, you aren't supposed to care. That is the PC answer, isn't it? Someone asks you, "Do you want a boy or girl?" and your response is, "Oh, we don't care, we just want a healthy baby".

Well, of course, I want a healthy baby. Who in their right mind wouldn't want a healthy baby?? And, having lost a baby several months ago (via miscarriage), I know how it feels to pray and to know that the priority of all your wants is a healthy baby from day one.

So, while in the depths of my heart, I really don't care what the sex of our baby is and all I really want is a healthy one, the more shallow waters of my heart want a girl. A sweet, chubby baby girl.

My first pregnancy I didn't really ever process what I wanted because Hubs wanted a boy so bad he couldn't see straight. Not kidding. So when we found out it was a girl, his reaction was dissapointment and I cried the entire way home from the doctor. Not because I didn't want a girl, but because he was so sad about it. Then my tears turned from sad tears to angry tears at the way he was acting and we talked about it and he got over it.  And, now, of course, he is is totally in love with his daughter.

So I think the first time I kind of wanted a  boy for him. And, now, funny as this is, he kind of wants a girl for me. We are truly in love ;) We just really like the idea of sisters and we already have a girl name picked out! For boy names, we got nothin'. Big fat nothin'. Plus, we know (in as much as we can know obviously) that this will not be our last child so there's always a chance for a boy next time.

We have an appointment next week and I hope we find out! It's still really early (I'll be 15 weeks next week), but we are praying that Hubs will find out before he deploys, which is right around the corner.

As soon as we get the word, we'll share the exciting news!

Slacker

2011-05-31T06:28:00.000-04:00

Yes, that's me. I name it and claim it :) (Beth Moore reference for those of you who are in the club)

I don't know why every part of my life ebbs and flows so dramatically. I'm either on top of things or I'm drowing. There's not much in between for me. So that is why I haven't been blogging. I just haven't wanted to lately.

I'm pregnant again so yay! 13 weeks today.

We are going back to America in 3 weeks where we will spend 2 weeks together before Hubby leaves to come back to Germany to prepare for deployment. I am excited for America! Man, I have missed it. It's so funny. I spent 2 years after college in Eastern Europe and didn't really miss America at all and now I have spent 6 months in Germany and it has been soooo hard! The older I get, the less I want to be away from family I guess. Plus having a family of my own now makes transition and change a lot harder.

Baby Girl is now obsessed with her pink bunny blanket. She has to sleep with it and heaven forbid we leave Bunny at home! Of course she would have designer taste. Just my luck her particular bunny blanket is a Sandra Magsamen which costs about $40. I wanted to get another one so she could get used to both of them so A.) I could wash it several times a week and B.) In the event we lost one, we would have a back up. But 40 bucks?!?!? Holy moly.

Ok, gotta run. Baby Godzilla is tearing apart my living room :)

Party Party

2011-05-09T07:07:00.003-04:00

Party pics! Enjoy!

RUT

2011-05-05T10:49:00.002-04:00

That's right. R. U. T. Rut. My parents came and visited and then they left and I am in a funk about it. Funk, funk, funk. Until about an hour ago, I was still wearing the PJ's I wore all day yesterday. That's right. Judge away. Plus, Hubby is gone...again. I swear, I only see that boy about 10% of the time. Also, looks like he might be going to yet another 2 week course end of May. Bleh. I don't understand why people think being an army wife is so great. They must see their husbands more than me.  Or maybe they just dont care if they see their husbands or not! Or maybe they are just so proud of their husbands that they feel it is worth the sacrifice. I don't really feel like that. I mean, I can feel like that for a deployment, but what about the rest of the time? I haven't gotten any consistent time with my husband (any consistent dinners or weekends I mean) since last may. That is redonkulous.   He had a couple of easy weeks at Christmas, but 2 weeks don't cancel out months of absences!  I mean, is my daughter supposed to grow up barely seeing her daddy? I dont like it. But, no surprise there.

One of these days I will get my pictures organized and will post about Baby Girl's 1st birthday and also about the 4 places we traveled with mom and dad (Neuschwanstein Castle, Regensberg, Bamberg, and Prague).   We did have a lot of fun. I wish Hubs could have gone with us everywhere. At least he got to take a 2 hour lunch break the day they left so I didn't have to take them to the airport alone. I would have been a total wreck! It was really beautiful weather. I will try to post some pics soon. Maybe even tonight.

I am currently reading "Clan of the Cave Bear" by Jean M. Auel. It came out the year before I was born! It's pretty good so far. It all about Cave People and they way they live. Then this little blond chick comes along who is more like the modern day human and she basically rocks their world.   It is a series of books-maybe 7 or 8. They are all really long. I've gotten into reading these massive epic books/series lately. Yes, I am currently reading 3 books that all have about 600 pages and are all part of a larger series. I don't know how that happened. I've been reading Robert Jordan for a long time (I'm on book 9 out of 14) and then I started reading George RR Martin (book 1) which Hubby stole so I started this Cave Bear book. I think I am going to stick to Cave Bear and finish it or else I'll be reading all 3 for the next 2 months. Plus I have to return it to the libary May 17th.

Speaking of May, I have 2 formal balls to go to and nothing to wear! Well, if Hubby goes to that 2 week course, maybe I will only have one to go to. But either way, I have nothing to wear! Like, really. I have one cocktail dress and one formal gown and I'm pretty sure I've outgrown them both. However, Hubs got a promotion so maybe he'll let me buy a new dress ;-) I just have to find an affordable dress in Germany....that might prove to be challenging since clothes here are so expensive! Oh, America, I miss you!! It is kind of fun to dress up, but I wish I had some friends here. One of my friends gets to go to one of the balls so yay!  She probably has a ton of dresses because she loves dressing up, but she's only 5'2" so that wont work for my tall butt!

Anyway, I think I'm done rambling for the day.  Hopefully, I will be out of my rut soon. Hubs comes home tomorrow and should have the entire weekend off so that should help my funk out. The weather is nice so maybe we can do something outdoors.   Grill out or just take a walk. Hope everyone has a fun weekend and I'll post some pictures soon!

Room by Blessed Room

2011-03-29T10:35:00.001-04:00

I have another boring room for you today. It must be easier to do the boring rooms :) So, without further ado, may I present...the upstairs bathroom:

So fresh and so clean clean!

La toilet accompanied by news and parents magazines

Check out those shower knobs!! I use a grand total of one of them :)

There's our sparkly bathroom in all her glory! I think this is the cleanest it has ever been.

I'll Tell You A Secret

2011-03-28T01:44:00.000-04:00

Just so we are clear, I have not given up on cleaning/decorating my house. I cleaned Baby Girl's room, but ran out of frames! Grrr!! So I did not want to post pictures until it's finished. I did, however, buy a rug for the foyer and I LOVE it so here's a picture of that.

That, right there, is my favorite color I'm pretty sure. I have tons of clothes that color and that was the color of my bridesmaids dresses. I think it is called wine or something.

Ok, my secret for this week is: I wish I could have natural childbirth. I'll tell you right now I won't. But I wish I was strong enough to try. I'm not. Honestly, there is no debate here. When (I am saying when, not if because I have hope) I get pregnant again I will be getting an epidural in a hospital with a MD. But I do love the thought of a water birth with my husband. It just seems so romantic and more life changing somehow. My husband would NOT got for a water birth!! I am laughing just thinking about asking him. And I respect him enough that I wouldn't make him. He would meet me in the middle-like going natural, but in a hospital. He is very overprotective of me and out daughter already! And I love him for it :)

Anyway, I am a wuss. If my cousin sees this, I am in big trouble because she will try to convert me and I really don't think I can do it! I don't know why, but I don't even want to consider it because then I'm afraid I'll decide to do it and I just don't want to feel that much pain. What I ultimately wish is that I had a gigantic threshold for pain like my mom. But, like I said, I am a wuss. A big wuss. There's my secret, but don't tell my cousin!! :):):)

I should have been born Amish

2011-03-23T08:49:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning me and Baby Girl took a walk and my breath was literally taken away as we rounded the corner to a display of God's Glory. The German countrysde is beautiful. I think we stood there staring at the fields with the sun rising and the mountains in the background for at least 10 minutes. I just could not get over it. It looked like a Norman Rockwell painting. Anyway, it reminded me of olden days which makes me think of the Amish and whenever I think of the Amish I always think "I should have been born Amish". I think about the simplicity of their life and it seems so peaceful.

And, I know, I would miss things. I would really miss my dishwasher. I would miss music and my fiction books. I would miss Felicity :) If you never had any of that stuff then you wouldn't miss it though, right? My confession of the day is that I am jealous of the Amish. Maybe you think they get bored, but they live in a community where there is always someone to talk to or chores to do. Not to mention that I have a computer and TV and an almost one-year-old and I stay bored most of the time. In fact I am extremely bored right now which is why I am writing about wishing I was Amish :)

Army Baby

2011-03-21T10:45:00.000-04:00

OH MY GOSH SHE IS SO STINKIN' ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Room by Blessed Room

2011-03-21T10:04:00.002-04:00

Up today: Foyer and Entryway...seriously one of most exciting rooms in the house. (Sarcasm in case you missed that).

Here is what you see when you walk in the front door (kitchen on left, living room on right, 1/2 bathroom straight ahead). That picture on the floor will soon be on the wall. And, unfortunately, that stuff under the stairs has to stay there until I hang up more pictures, make a goodwill/thrift store drop off, and find somewhere to dump a broken microwave

There is our front door :) If it looks funny, that is because there is a front door with a little room with a shoe rack and a closet for coats and then another set of glass doors leading into the foyer

1/2 bath

View from the top of the stairs

And, this, dear readers, is our "totally awesome window" that of course is too high for me to clean but it is so cool! When I walk down the hall at night I can look at the stars through it. Many trips to the bathroom get postponed due the the distraction :)

So, today I swept, mopped, did the windows, mirrors, and dusted this part of the house. I have already done 1/2 of the downstairs and 2 out of 8 rooms in the entire house. Not too shabby. Actually, if you know me, you know that is really quite excellent :) Next I think I am going to do Baby Girl's room. I am leaving the really hard rooms until the end....you know I'm trying to do strenth training (people who work out: does that make sense? I kind of just heard that term somewhere but am not sure what it means! :):):) )

I know this post is kinda boring, but I spent time cleaning so I had to show off. Plus, no one has seen our place so I can't leave out the boring parts!

Room by Blessed Room

2011-03-19T13:03:00.001-04:00

I am going to show you my house. I have been here 3 months and still haven't put everything away and still haven't hung pictures on the wall. My parents are visiting April 22nd. Hubs comes back April 12th. I am determined to make this house a home room by blessed room. SO, in order to help motivate myself I am going to post as I go, room by blessed room :)

First up: Kitchen! It is my most essential room so I thought I would start there. I worked on the kitchen for multple hours today. Yes, hourS. I am the man. I not only cleaned it, I organzied it and hung up pictures.

So, enjoy the virtual tour!

This is the view from the entry

View from the laundry room

View from the big window

View from the fridge :) You can see our foyer on the left and the door on the right leads to the laundry room. The outside view is our walkway leading up to the house and some yard

So, there's our kitchen! Hope you like it. I'm pretty happy with it. Coming soon...The entryway and the Foyer! Woo hoo!!

Green

2011-03-19T12:01:00.000-04:00

Joy of Luck Day 2: Green is also symbolically the color for newness, new beginnings, spring and life. Today I want you to find the green – this can be ANYTHING that is either the literal color green OR something that brings newness, new beginnings, life, or hope to an otherwise dismal situation. Look at your day not as a series of hurdles/problems, but as a blessing! We are SO lucky for all that we have. Capture this with your lens! Key Word: Green

Here is a green froggy with my baby daughter. She doesn't feel that new to me, but she is still new to the world. Almost one! (Holy guacamole...really?? I mean, really?!?)

My green rejects:

To finish or not to finish

2011-03-17T06:49:00.000-04:00

It's not actually a debate. I am not finishing the blog challenge. You know those people who say "Once I start a book (or a movie or a project or whatever), I have to finish it"? I am not one of those people. I used to be that person in high-school. It seems the older I get, the more laid back I get. Is that backwards or normal I wonder. Anyway, I am that person no more and the Blog Challenge is now dead.

In it's place is Joy of Luck. Maybe you heard about Joy of Love going on back in February? I did not partake in that (a month is too long of a commitment for me). However, the Joy of Luck is only a week...I think. Something like that. Basically, you get daily emails from Kelly McWillette of Willette Designs. Within these emails are prompts to photograph different aspects of your life. If you want to join in, here is the link: Joy of Luck.

Now, I have to forwarn you that I am a really bad photographer. I take good pictures of people smiling at the camera and that is it. I am not creative nor do I understand lighting or angles. So, now that you've been forwarned, I hope your expectations are nice and low.

Joy of Luck, Day One Prompt: What inanimate object/thing/concept is something that you take for granted on a daily basis? What would someone who is not as fortunate as you are say about your “luck” to have such a thing in your life? Think about your blessings today – (don’t focus on people for this one…that will come later)…focus on opportunity/experience/something you have/do EVERYDAY that is an unforeseen blessing in your life. Key word : GIFT

Kelly always shows you her photo as well to give you an idea I suppose. She showed a picture of a book to represent her education. I also have a picture of a book, which I did not steal from her. As soon as I read the first sentence and before I saw her picture, I knew I would choose books. It does kind of look like her picture, but that can't be helped. I took several pictures and this one was the best one.

Here are some my failings:

So, books. I am basically obsessed. I read every day and could read all day if given the chance. I watch TV while I eat and fold clothes. Any other free time, I read. Books are my escape which is sometimes bad, but not so bad that it is an issue. I never ignore the Hubs or the Baby to read. I am pretty anal about putting my family before my books. I learned that lesson already when me and Hubby first got married ;-) Having the ability to read, for me, is absolutely priceless. It is something I take for granted, but if it was taken away, my heart would seriously break. No joke.

Ok, Joy of Luck done. Now I am going to post a picture of books just because I want to.

Starting in the top left position going clockwise we have:

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare (I am a sucker for Fiction)

all of Jane Austen's novels (that is the English major in me escaping)

The Enchantress of Florence by Salman Rushdie (one of the three books I'm currently reading)

Five Silly Monkeys (Baby Girl's current favorite)

Adam Bede by George Elliot (one of my favorite "classics")

Extraordinary Parents by Lynn Fielding (I devour parenting books)

And, last but not least I will leave you with a picture of Baby Girl because she is SO DANG CUTE (If I were a cussing girl I would say the bad D word because she really is friggin' adorable).

BC: Days 6, 7, 8

2011-03-16T12:52:00.001-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 6: A photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet

This is a chinchilla and I L-O-V-E chinchillas. That is a little fact most people don't know about me. I friggin' love chinchillas!! I want one as a pet so bad. For those of you who know Hubs, when we are back in America please remind him that this would make an excellent birthday gift and would score him major, major points for a really long time :):):) I especially like this picture because this chinchilla is a bit overweight like my fat cat Phoenix :)

Blog Challenge Day 7: Your dream wedding

Ummm....no thank you.

Blog Challenge Day 8: A song to match your mood

I chose Jeremy Camp's song "There Will Be A Day". GORGEOUS. I love it. Here is the chorus:

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears

There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I chose this song because currently, some very precious people in my life are experiencing the following: death of a parent, maritial separation, infertility, and miscarrige (that last one is me of course). I just think about those words and I truly believe them. I hurt for my friends and I long for the day with no more tears or pain. I truly do long for Heaven. I don't think I would miss anything on earth if I went to Heaven right now. But, anyway, the song goes on to say that "We'll hold on to you always" meaning God of course. But Jeremy Camp says it like a declaration, which I love. It is not a question. In my mind it is a very emphatic "We WILL hold on to you ALWAYS"...like no matter what happens, God, I will forever cling to you because you are good and I trust you. Oh man, if you haven't heard it you should go to You Tube right now because it is so awesome.

Blog Challenge found at: http://ciaobellablog13.blogspot.com/2010/11/30-days.html

BC Days 4 & 5

2011-03-10T05:03:00.003-05:00

I am smashing days together now because I fear I am already slacking on this 30 day blog challenge.

Day 4: Your favorite photograph of your best friend.

Well, of course, I don't have just one best friend. And, of course, my husband is my ultimate best friend. But since I already have 4 besties, I am going to leave him out this time. But my official stance is that Hubby is the BEST best friend I could ever ask for.

Ok, onto my besties (who will be listed alphabetically by their 1st names which you don't know) :)

Teacher Bestie:

This is my most favorite picture of Teacher Bestie...so far. I am planning on being BFF's with her, well, for forever so a different picture might surpass it later. It is actually tied for 1st with another picture of us where we are holding our babies, but 4's a crowd. Anyway, in this picture we are on a train in Europe. Every time we took a train ride (and we took a lot!) we always tried to sit next to each other. Like, we would actually scheme how to do it without hurting anyone else's feelings. Some of the best (and hardest) years of my life have been spent with this girl and I MISS her SO much!

Red Bestie and Fancy Bestie:

These girls have been my best friends since 2001! But, actually, if feels like we've been sisters all our life. They are AWESOME. This picture was obviously taken on my wedding day (February 2008). It is in a series of pictures I took with them and I love all of them so much. It was so hard to decide which one to pick. I love this picture for so many reasons. I know you don't know them, but this picture emulates them so so well. Fancy is actually fancy, which is why I call her that. You can guess which one she is now that I've told you she is fancy, right? And Red does have red hair in this picture which I know you can't see. I tried to revert the picture back to color, but Snapfish keeps giving me an error message. Anyway, her short funky 'do is totally her personality and she is always changing her hair! I also love this picture because I'm all glammed up :) (I mean, I am a girl after all albeit a low maintenance one!) If I have "rocks" in my life, these girls definitely qualify!

Mama Bestie:

Yep, my mom's my best friend. I'm lucky, I know :) I hope one day my Baby Girl will say the same thing about me! This picture was taken in California a couple of years ago. My mom is my biggest fan and I have never ever doubted she loves me and would do anything to help me. She is also one the funniest people I know (her and Teacher Bestie both love an audience for telling hilarious stories)! Oh my gosh, that woman can get me giggling in no time flat! Sometimes, we make fun of my dad (to his face-I promise we just tease him, we aren't actually being mean!) and I just cannot get a hold of myself. I am laughing right now just thinking about it! I love her!

Blog Challenge Day 5: A photo of yourself two years ago.

I cheated because it's my blog and I can do that! In this picture, you not only see an old photo of me, you can see a picture of my ultimate Best Friend...my husband! He is perfect...for me that is :) He is everything I'm not-patient, self-sacrificing, unafraid, and emotionally calm. If my best friends are my rocks, then he is my boulder. LOVE HIM!!!

Blog Challenge found at: http://ciaobellablog13.blogspot.com/2010/11/30-days.html

Show and Tell

2011-03-08T05:11:00.001-05:00

Mrs. Yellow Ribbon asks: What are some words or phrases you use all the time? What about words you made up or words you use to refer to something and people look at you like they have no clue what on earth you're talking about?

1.) redonkulous-used in place of ridiculous. Got this one from Hubby

2.) Hoodlum-Nickname for Baby Girl (I'm gonna have to stop saying this once she starts talking!)

3.) Oh, shite-I use this to prevent myself from cussing

4.) Oh, mother-See explanation for #3

5.) All jacked up-used when something is all messy, broken, not doing what I want it to, etc.

6.) Wee Beasty-another nickname for Baby Girl. Got this one from Scott Westerfeld

7.) Are you wacko? -This one is pretty self-explanatory :)

That's all I can think of! Join in the fun and link up over at Mrs. Yellow Ribbon!

BC Day 3

2011-03-08T04:09:00.001-05:00

Blog Challenge Day 3: Your idea of the perfect first date

Since I, hopefully, won't ever have to go on a "first" date again, I am going to do my idea of the perfect date with my husband. Right now here in Germany. I could pretend to be in Jamaica, but I am going to stick with reality on this one.

Sleep in late.
Surprise flowers on my nightstand.
Lots and lots of yummy deliciouso coffee while Hubby makes breakfast.
All-day babysittter.
Long morning walk holding hands.
Lunch from a sandwich stand (unless we are full from breakfast...then just lemonade)
Hubby takes me to Weiden and buys me jewelry.
Afternoon trip to IKEA just to browse.
Back home to get dolled up.
Dinner at a surprise restaurant that Hubby picks out.
Wine with dinner.
Lay my head on Hubby's shoulder the whole way home because the wine made me sleepy.
Get Baby Girl who squeals with delight to see us and gives us lots of kisses.
Back at home content and happy.

Blog Challenge found at: http://ciaobellablog13.blogspot.com/2010/11/30-days.html

BC Day 2

2011-03-07T09:01:00.001-05:00

Blog Challenge Day 2: A photo of something you ate today.

I did not take this picture, but it is a picture of oatmeal. I eat oatmeal almost every day. I cook it on the stove and put peanut butter and jelly in it. Yum. Yum. Yum.

Blog Challenge found at: http://ciaobellablog13.blogspot.com/2010/11/30-days.html

Blog Challenge:Day 1

2011-03-06T14:18:00.001-05:00

Ok, during my routine blog jumping today, I found a fun blog challenge that I am going to attempt to take part of for 30 days. Here is how my jumping went today:

First, I went to Kathlyn's blog. She linked to Amy, who then linked to Jessica who had the blog challenge! So it's 30 days of pictures to post and/or stories to tell. Some days I may post twice, some days I may *ahem* skip.

Here's Day One: A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was

This is a picture of me and one of my 2 friends in Germany :) It was taken on New Years Eve.

Today I woke up, or rather, I was woken up by my sweet Hubby at 7:45. Sweet Baby Girl followed suit and re-woke me up at 8. So I nursed Baby Girl (these days will be over so soon. sad face) and then went downstairs to feed her breakfast (yogurt, tahini, and squash). Put Baby Girl in her pack n' play while the Hubs and I read our bibles and drank coffee and hot tea (coffee for me, tea for him). Gave Baby Girl a bottle and put her down for nap #1. Hubs took a shower while I picked up the living room.

After his shower, Hubs started to pack because he went to the field for the week. While he did that, I made a birthday sign for one of his army buddies whose birthday is today. Who, by the way, is turning 23. Yes, he is just a wee babe ;-) He has a little flat screen in his bedroom and he told me and Hubs that he had it since High School. Ummmm, flat screens didn't even exist when I was in High School!

At 11:30 I woke up Baby Girl and fed her some lunch (cereal, squash, and some turkey sticks) and another bottle. Then Hubs and I went over to army buddy's place to hang up birthday sign and drop off a chocolate cake I made last night. He wasn't at home so we had to get creative. Well, if you can call leaving it on the porch creative :)

Dropped Hubs off at work at 1pm and headed back home. Flitted around the computer a bit while Baby Girl played in the floor. At 2, I put her down for nap #2. Then, I folded some laundry, watched some Friends that my mom sent me, and flitted around on the computer some more.

Woke Baby Girl up at 4:15pm (that kid loves to sleep!). She got a bottle and then played on the floor some more. I played with her and also read a little bit. Fed her dinner at 5 (cheese, apple puffs, banana). Fixed myself some dinner while she was eating (chicken on the George and couscous). Gave Baby Girl a bath and then went downstaits to watch some more Friends. Gave Baby Girl her fourth and final bottle.

At 7, got a text from Hubby asking if I could come get him. Bundled up Baby Girl and went and picked him up (which I was really excited about because I thought it meant he was spending the night at home. Nope. I was wrong). He just had to run home and get something and then he took the car back.

Nursed Baby Girl and put her to bed and now I'm doing this! After this I will probably watch some more Friends, read some more and go to sleep. :)

Ah, the life of a rock star.

I'll Tell You a Secret

2011-03-05T06:03:00.001-05:00

I think I might make this a regular posting because I have lots and lots of secrets in me. It's cathartic to get stuff inside of you out in the open. And, kinda fun :)

Today, my secret is................................................... (duh duh dum)...........I don't like being an army wife. Ok, ok, before people start hatin' on me, let me explain. I dearly love my husband and I would follow him anywhere. He followed God into the army and I am not going to argue or fight against that reasoning. I am here and I am dealing with it, but I don't like it.

I read army wife blogs and I really love reading them. I love reading them second only to book blogs which says quite a lot since books=oxygen to me. They write about their husbands, their children, their duty stations, deployments, moving, etc. It is very interesting and even when I'm not an army wife anymore, I will probably still continue to read them. The one thing I notice about all of them (at least all of the ones I read) is that they love love love being army wives. Really??? I mean, really??? I can see being proud and going with the flow, but they genuinely seem to love the army life. I wish I was there. I am not and if I'm being honest, I don't see myself getting there until at least post-deployment...if then.

The thing is,however, that I am an army wife right now. Right now, this very second, I am a wife to an active duty soldier in Germany. SO, that leads me to believe that God must want me to be a happy army wife. Except happy isn't the correct word. Because I am happy. I love my husband and my daughter and my home and even being in a foreign country isn't so bad now that I'm used to it. Being happy is not the problem. It's is more like the difference between surviving and thriving. I can survive as an army wife. I've certainly survived worse. But, I am not thriving as an army wife. I am biding my time. I am looking forward to the day when Hubby can "quit" the army and we can have a "normal" life. (And, yes, I know there is no such thing as a normal life...but you know what I mean, right? A settled life, a life that involves home owning and getting to know your neighbors because they will be around for more than a year or two).

This is a secret that goes unsaid most of the time because if you are in the army you are supposed to love it I guess. You are supposed to smile and say "It's ok that I never see my husband. It's ok that I feel like a single mother most weeks. It's ok that I've left everything behind I love just so that I watch my husband work his tail off for no thank you. It's ok that his job bleeds into our familiy like he's hemorrhaging." Just keep smiling! Just keep smiling!

Do army wives really love it? Or do they just blog about their good days I wonder. I know everyone has bad days, but I am not having a bad day. I have felt like this for months now. I don't hate it, but I certainly don't want to do it for 20 years either! I am not strong enough to be an army wife. That is my conclusion. I am too dependant on my man and too lonely without my family. I know that's not really true because God put me here so I must be able to thrive somehow, some way.

I hope y'all don't think I hate my life. I really don't!! I am not depressed or anything. I am just trying to figure out why the army wives I see on the Internet seem to love the military life and I don't. Maybe they have been in the military longer so they have come to terms with it. I only have 2 real life army friends so I don't have much to compare. And, it's an issue I don't see addressed openly anywhere.

Ok, enough jibber jabber. I've got a baby to feed. Hope you have a blessed weekend! Hubby is at work now, but I'm hoping he'll be home for dinner!

A little sugar to start your day :)

2011-03-04T09:08:00.001-05:00

This is a video of Baby Girl playing in the mirror. It is one of her favorite things to do so I thought I better caputre it before it's to late!

This video is me, unsuccessfully, trying to get her say "Ba". I watched this video on our TV before I posted it and when in the video I say "Can you say Ba?" real life Baby Girl calls out "BA!!" Of course. They certainly don't perform on command :)

And, this is a picture of baby curls. Is there anything else sweeter?

Bucket List

2011-03-03T14:07:00.005-05:00

I found another thing for my bucket list. I wonder how do-able (is that a word?) one's bucket list is supposed to be. I wonder if people put things they really want to do, but probably may never or if they put things they probably could do if they tried hard enough.

Well, today, mine (hopefully) falls in the latter category. I want to be a better housekeeper. I have several things going against me in this goal. Main one being my personality. I am Type B (is there a Type B? I only ever hear about Type A, but I assume there is a B as well?). I am a laid back chica mostly. There a few things that I'm particular about...but, you know what, not one thing is coming to mind! Hmmmm...I bet my husband could tell you something I'm anal about, but I can't think of anything. I'm anal about not pumping my own gas! :):) Jokes! Just jokes.

Yes....back to that which is against me in reaching my goal. I did not have chores as a child. I thank you, mama, for always taking care of me, but now I don't make my bed. Or vacuum. Or scrub floors. I do, however, do the laundry! I also wash dishes every day. I guess everyone does, but man, never ending dishes! (It also needs to be said that I take good care of my daughter. She is not as neglected as my bed)

Also, I am self-indulgent. Oh yes, I do not have that problem some people have of "never sitting still". I can sit still and read for 5 hours. No problem. I actually do feel guilty when I do that, but apparantly not guilty enough to get my bum off the couch.

So, what's a girl to do? This week I have made small strides. One "area" at a time seems to be working for me. A room is to big of a goal so I have been focusing on "areas". Judge me if you will...but know that the Bible tells you not to judge anyone ;) On Tuesday, I cleaned the toilets (BOTH of them). Wednesday, I kicked some butt in the foyer and cleaned the floors and put everything away and cleaned the rest of the downstairs bathroom (it took me at least an hour). Today I cleaned off our dining room table which was covered in Ka-Rap. So far, this is the best method I've come up with for myself.

However, I am hoping one day to be more like my Fancy Bestie who keeps a perfect home :) I don't know that I'll ever get there, but...maybe? :)

Winter Mornings

2011-02-27T02:39:00.000-05:00

This morning, I actually got out of bed before my daughter, which, let me tell you, is a shocker. I am so lazy that most mornings, I most definitely lay there and soak up as much sleep as possible even if it's not needed. Seriously, sometimes I sleep for 10 hours. But my husband is never here and I only have 2 friends, so what else am I gonnna do?

Anyway, back to this morning. I went to brush my porcelain beauties and looked out the window and the world is covered in white. Snow. I thought maybe we were done with that business but I guess God has other plans. Instead of groaning, I just enjoyed it. It really so pretty with the snow and the "naked" trees. If you are a Yahoo fan maybe you have seen that picture of the robin in the snow on the "Most Emailed Photos" tab. (I just love that tab by the way). I saw that this morning! Except it wasn't a robin, it was this pretty black bird with a white belly.

Lately, I have not taken the time to enjoy life. I have been stressed or self-indulgent. I have been lonely and too worried to notice what's outside my window. My daughter can always make me laugh and mostly cheer me up, but other than her, I have not noticed God's blessings around me. (For the record, my husband can also cheer me up, but he's never here). Now I am not going to go so far as to say snow is a blessing, but beautiful quiet mornings are a gift and a blessing.

So, maybe today YOU can take the time to "smell the roses" and find an unexpected/unusual blessing and tell me about it! I would love to hear about your blessings! :)

Besties are the BEST!!

2011-02-23T08:21:00.000-05:00

I guess that's why they're called best friends, huh? :)

So, as you know I was feeling blue like a blue tick hound 2 days ago. Weeeeeell, sit back and listen to how awesome God is. (I know you aren't supposed to end a sentence with the word "is", but what word should I put after "is"? I can't think of one).

The very day I wrote my last sad post, I skyped with Red Bestie. I wasn't even going to mention my feelings to her. Not because I am ashamed or don't trust her, but because we were talking about books and that is like oxygen to me so I was just basking in my O2 overdose. But she asked, so I spilled everything I wrote on my blog. One point she made that made me feel a lot better was this (I am going to attempt to paraphrase her without butchering what she said. Hope it works): God doesn't prepare us now for what we will experience in the future. So if in (roughly) 4 months from now you aren't pregnant, you will be in a place to accept that news that you aren't in now (nor do I have to be there now because hello, he's not leaving tomorrow). It was like, eye opening for me. I don't have to be ok with not being pregnant now because I still have several months where I might actually get pregnant. And, if God doesn't want me to be pregnant before Hubby leaves, then He will prepare me for that, but He still has 4 months to do so. Wow.

Then, I got an email from Teacher Bestie (who isn't actually a teacher, but she reminds me of a teacher and she would make a really great one). I won't try to paraphrase and butcher her words, I will just cut a snippet from her email. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent :) Here it is: The Lord knows how badly you want another baby, he knows your body, and he knows what you need. All you can do is rest in him and trust his timing. He has had such good plans for you that you never would have dreamed up. Imagine when you first set foot on that plane to go to SK...you had no idea you were hanging out with your future husband... I remember you saying things like you didn't deserve a Godly man, [Hubby] specifically and how long you had been single since becomming a Christian, but God knew exactly how long you needed to wait for your man and look what a good one he gave you! Now he knows exactly how long you need to wait for a second child and he will bless you when you are ready. He also knows when it is best for [Hubby] to have another child and when Miss baby girl is ready to be a big sis. So if the Lord withholds, which of course I am praying that he won't, but if he does, just remember it must be best for [Hubby], baby girl and you.
Yet, another lightbulb moment. I had just assumed that it was best for Baby Girl and said sibling to be as close in age as possible. I had just assumed what was best for me was best for my husband and daughter. As if! I never even thought to look at this issue from that angle. Of course I want what's best for them more than what's best for me. I would sacrifice anything to make their lives better! If it is best for them to wait, then I will wait happily.

And then, my dad emailed me an article. I can't exactly call my dad a "bestie" because it just sounds weird, but he is an important part of my life. The article was about healing and faith and it was really excellent. I can't exactly paste the whole thing here but I will give you the highlights.
-Don't fight against this pain that God has allowed into your life
-Ask God to make His desires your desires
-Discover the benefits of your suffering (which it talked about...pretty cool idea, huh?)
-There's no limit to the amount of glory you can bring to God by choosing to trust Him in the middle of your pain
It had a lot more to say than that, but it had a lot of good things to think about regarding the benefits of suffering and also how to draw close to God even in pain.

So, just so you know, I am feeling a lot better. I am actually doing well unless I see someone pregnant or hear about someone having a baby on Facebook or something. It's not their fault and I am so happy people get to experience what I experienced with Baby Girl, but it still makes me sad when someone talks about their due date or I see newborn pictures. Funnily enough, Red Bestie is exceptionally pregnant right now and it didn't bother me at all to see her. I am just so HAPPY for her I can't waste time being sad for myself! Such are the benefits of being best friends I suppose :)

Fear v. Trust

2011-02-21T08:19:00.000-05:00

Should my title have been Fear vs. Trust? I never know if verses is v. or vs. But, anyway, you get the point.

Here's the thing. I want another baby. I just lost a baby via miscarriage. I should be content with the living baby I have. A lot of people would be thrilled beyond words to simply have one baby. God does things in His own time. I am a Christian and God will take care of me. God has blessed me with a beautiful daughter. But I still want another baby.

I am trying to be good and not want more than I should have. I am trying to be content with my one baby. But I am struggling big time. Everything is relative and for every person who wants a baby and doesn't have one I can show you a person who has a baby and doesn't want it. Just look up the number of abortions in your town to see what I mean. It's apalling, but anyway.

I want another baby so bad I can't hardly let myself think about it or I get upset. Here it is in black and white: my husband is deploying in a few months and I am scared to death that I won't be pregnant before he leaves. There, I said it. And now I want to cry.

Why oh why can't I trust God with this? When he decided to take our baby away, I totally trusted that He would take care of us and He did. I knew it was His timing and His timing is best. I still know that, but I am gripped with what feels like uncontrollable fear that He won't bless me with another baby before Hubby leaves.

Why is that so bad? What is wrong with waiting another year? The thought brings tears of sadness to my eyes. I don't know why. I know that a year is not forever, but I want another baby now. At least soon. I want a big family and I want to add another child to it now. I have wanted another baby since Baby Girl was about 3 months old. Why can't I trust God with this?

I love my daughter so much. She brings so much JOY to each and every day (well, some days I act like a pickled beet, but most days I am a good mom). She is just about perfect in my eyes. But as much as I tell myself she is enough, there is an overwhelming longing for more. I feel guilty. I feel like I am asking for the cake and the icing too or whatever that saying says. Did God put this longing within me or am I seeking my own version of happiness without his stamp of approval?

Every day I just wait for my body to heal so we can try again. I am not trusting God, I am freaking out. But I KNOW in my heart of hearts that God is good. I know He took our baby for a reason and I know He will bless us in the future. I hope it is with more children, but it may not be, as much as that scares me. Even though I know of and speak of God's goodness, I am still not trusting in that goodness. I don't know what I am doing exactly. It is out of my hands so it's not like I am doing my own thing. I am just not at peace I guess.

Hence, the title of this post. Fear v. Trust. Right now, fear is winning, but I hope to update you all again soon that that is not the case anymore. Everyday is a battle I suppose. I just have to take it one day at a time as my sweet Hubby tells me.

Blog Bling

2011-02-18T09:53:00.001-05:00

My blog is blingless. I think I am going to work on that. Maybe. I'm not a HTML genius, so it might be too hard to bling up my blog, but we'll see.

However, one easy way to bling up a blog is to post some pictures which I seriously do not do enough of these days. So, here's some baby bling for you all!

Kisses

2011-02-16T14:23:00.001-05:00

Yes, who doesn't like kisses? Kisses are wonderful, no?

Well, my daughter, who has not even turned one yet, is stingy with her kisses. I mean, she shouldn't be Little Miss Independence yet, right??? That is down the road a bit I thought!

Oh, she knows how to give kisses. And if I harass her enough, she will give me one. The other day I left her with a friend for a few minutes and when I came back she laid one on me as if to say "I missed you mommy". BUT, she doesn't freely give them to me :( To which her daddy says "good girl, never kiss anyone".

Sheesh. Babies are only babies for about 5 minutes

Odds & Ends

2011-02-08T04:25:00.000-05:00

So sorry it's been so long since I last posted. Our Internet was off for almost 4 weeks so at least I have an excuse!

I have been feeling down today. We miscarried our baby last week so I'm sure it has something to do with that. I am still lonely too. I would think I would get used to the solitude, but I haven't. I have Internet now which means I'm back on Facebook and getting emails and we even have a phone that calls America for free, but that just doesn't cut it. Talking to someone on the phone or even Skyping with someone is not the same thing as having people over for dinner or going to grab a Starbucks. I miss person to person interaction. We have also not found a church :( There aren't a lot of English speaking options over here obviously and the ones we have visited have been alright, but we miss our church back home. The funny thing is when we attended our church back home we weren't even that involved. Plus, Baby Girl is dealing with separation anxiety and while I don't mind letting her cry a bit, I feel bad for the nursery workers having to deal with her. She won't even play on the floor in the nursery...someone has to hold her the entire church service so it makes me not even want to take her. It's not her fault. Her entire life has been spent in temporary places where her mommy has no friends and therefore no one to watch her so she is with me 24/7. I would love to leave her with someone so me and Hubby can go out to eat, but that just isn't an option. So of course she is attached to me, but it's not her fault. It's not really my fault either. 6 months in Oklahoma with a newborn and 3 months in Germany with an infant doesn't exactly lend itself to me being a social butterfly.

Plus, the one person who is here for me (Hubby) is mad at me right now so I feel extra alone. He's at work anyway. Don't know when I'll see him again.

I have to mention that I have made one friend here. And she has really been wonderful. When I have had to do things that were not baby friendly, she has always watched Baby Girl for me willlingly and happily. Last week when we found out about the baby she brought us two separate meals and took Baby Girl while we went to the hospital. I am very grateful for her. And I hear from my mom that another friend (whom I haven't met yet...well, not in person, but we have been emailing) will be here on Friday. She also has a daughter so I'm excited to meet them and maybe have some playdates! Baby playdates sound like fun to me :) I'm such a mom...and I love it :)

Well, that's about as much of an update as I can give you. I promise I won't let 4 weeks go by again without posting!

Baby Journey-week 6

2011-01-10T04:01:00.001-05:00

Symptoms: Nothing new really. I have been sleeping through the night again, but I thought I might upchuck in the shower the other day. I didn't though :) I haven't been so sleepy in the afternoons. Weird, huh? I had heartburn a couple of nights last week. My appetite has decreased if anything. Sometimes I just don't feel like eating. My pregnancy nose is still going strong.

Emotions: Definitely emotional! I cry or "tear up" over anything remotely sad. I cried over that political shooting in Arizona, I cried over a blog post I read about the number of abortions in New York, I cry when looking at pictures of nurseries, I cry when I think about Hubby not being with me for the birth, and I cry when I get homesick. I haven't been grumpy anymore so that's really good. Some days I am pretty stressed, some days I am fine, but that's not really because I'm pregnant...that's because my life is in a very transitional period right now (thank you army).

Doctor's Appointments, etc.: Well, I went & peed in a cup for the army...turns out I'm pregnant! :) Then, on Friday I had to drive Hubby to work (with Baby Girl of course) so I could keep the car & then I had mess up Baby Girl's naps to drive back to post for an "appointment" which turned out to be "pick up this pack of paper". It took about 3 mins. Thank you army! On Wednesday I asked my friend to watch Baby Girl so I can go to a class called "Having a baby in Germany" or something like that even though I will be having my baby in America. THEN, finally after 3 trips to post, I will get to actually go to my first doctor's appointment...on my birthday! Sheesh-everything is so much more complicated across the pond!

The Baby: Dun-du-du-dun....we have a lentil!!

I'll tell you a secret

2011-01-07T04:27:00.000-05:00

I love being a mommy. (No, that isn't my secret, everyone who knows me knows that!). It is so very rewarding and fun (and tiring!). I love making my own babyfood. I love reading to my daughter. I love nursing her & making her giggle. My days are well spent. I am also learning to love being a housewife. I am not there yet, but I like it more now than I used to. I mostly enjoy cooking dinner every night & I enjoy the feeling when my kitchen is cleaned up for the night & everything is in it's place. All that to say that I am pretty happy where I am right now. I am content with my main goal in life for the next several years to be a good mommy/housewife.
BUT...here comes my secret.

I want to be a librarian one day. Like, I fantasize about it. I want to catalog books and help college students find the resource they need. I want to be in charge of things and/or people and have responsiblities. I want to have co-workers again. Oh man, how I miss having co-workers! I want to be known for myself & not through my husband or my children. One of my bigger fears as far as the realm of "it's not the end of the world" fears go is that I will never go back to school & I will never be a librarian. First of all, the degree is like $50,000 (I think). Second of all, I was never the best student. Third of all, I am really not self-disciplined enough to do online courses so we would have to live somewhere where that degree is offered and that isn't everywhere.
BUT...God could work out the details. Better in His hands than mine.

So, there you go. My dirty little secret :)

My Baby Journey

2011-01-04T03:49:00.005-05:00

I was inspired by Kathryn over at Singing Through the Rain to document my baby journey and I am really excited about it! My intention is to update weekly, but we'll see how that goes... :)

The Plan: Back in October me & Hubby found out his deployment was being moved up 4 months earlier than we had first been told. We were originally going to start trying when Baby Girl turned one. (I write that with a knowing grin because I had baby fever since Baby Girl was about 3 months old and definitely wanted to try sooner but due to "logical" reasons, we were going to wait). Well, when we found out about deployment we said we would start trying in January. I had an IUD in at the time & wanted it out so my body could have some time to adjust before we started trying. The problem was that my doctor was 1800 miles away. So we tried to find a local one to no avail. We had to get permission from the army & then find a doctor that took Tricare & had an open slot. We had basically given up & were going to wait until we got to Germany. Well, I saw the number of one of the doctor's I had called that had been closed when I called. I called the number & yes, they took Tricare & yes, they had an open slot for the one day that we were able to go! Then we got to Germany & I am telling you, my baby fever would not go away. So one night me & Hubby prayed about it & we really gave it to God. For my part, it was hard because I thought I wanted a baby no matter what God said. I finally was able to give it to God & told Him that if He wanted us to wait, then I would be obedient. Well, both me & Hubby felt like God was giving us the green light to start trying so we did.

Finding Out: We were going to wait until Christmas morning to take the test, but we couldn't! We bought one of those early pregnancy tests & we saw a faint pink line. I was estatic and nervous. Estatic because I knew it meant I was probably pregnant, but nervous because it was so faint. We could see it, but barely. I was still physically shaking with joy though. I made Hubby feel my heart & it was pounding out of control! We went ahead & told Baby Girl who didn't respond much :) Then we re-took it on Christmas morning & it was dark pink! We were SO VERY VERY VERY VERY happy!! We told our parents that evening via Skype.

Symptoms: So far, sleepiness in the late afternoon (but nothing like with Baby Girl-maybe because I'm not working?), waking up once a night to "make water", sweet things turn my stomach, when I get hungry I turn into a grouch (that's a new one), and my pregnancy nose is back! I can smell you fom a mile away! :)

Emotions: I am first of all, so very thankful to God for granting me the priviledge of being pregnant again. It is an honor to house one of His amazing creations. I am overwhelmed by His goodness when I think about being pregnant. This pregnancy is so different for me than my first. With Baby Girl, I did not enjoy being pregnant. I actually freaked out shortly after we got pregnant & did not come to peace with my pregnancy until the very end. I did not realize that a miracle was happening inside of me. I feel like I "wasted" it by being selfish & immature & just plain clueless. This time I am going to cherish every second & never take for granted a healthy baby. After thankful, the next emotion I feel is EXCITED! Anytime I need a pick me up I just look at my preggo stick (the home kit) & I can't help by smile & giggle!

The baby: Last week, it was the size of a poppy seed

This week it is the size of a sesame seed!

I love my little baby sesame seed!!

*I got those photos from Babycenter.com It is an awesome website if you have kiddos!

Thank you God for the slap in the face

2011-01-03T08:58:00.000-05:00

Seriously, after I wrote my last post & published it I went HERE.
God is so very good at humbling us & keeping things in perspective. I am so thankful He keeps me on track. I would be such a train wreck without Him.

So, it's been awhile..

2011-01-03T08:31:00.000-05:00

Yeah, sorry 'bout that. Life has been-yep, you guessed it-crazy. I mean, how do these army wives do it? All this transition all of the time. It's HARD! Me no likey.

Now we are in our apartment & I know we will love it if we ever get unpacked. The problem is our personalities do not lend to getting things done in a timely manner. I wish my mom or my mother-in-law could come over & help me. I just need someone to help me, to keep me focused on the task at hand, and to watch Baby Girl. I want pictures on the walls and boxes gone! I feel like as soon as we get settled, we will move again. It is very hard to motivate me normally, but even harder when I know that all this work is only for 5 months. But I want to have a nice home. If I wait until we are "settled" I will be waiting years!

I am SO VERY envious of people who have babies in the same home where they raise them. I am SO VERY envious of people who can decorate their baby's nursery before their baby is born. I moved 2 weeks after Baby Girl was born. This time I am moving 8 weeks before the baby's due date. Of course I know that pretty nurseries don't really matter, but I am envious nonetheless. And I am so very thankful we are pregnant again. So very thankful. I cannot imagine the heartbreak people go through who have problems getting pregnant. To sum things up=I AM blessed, but I FEEL sorry for myself. Yeah, that's about right.

Christmas was alright. Not the wonderful 1st Christmas I wish Baby Girl could have had, but given the situation, it could have been a lot worse. The sesame seed inside of me isn't going to have a great 1st Christmas either since his/her daddy will be deployed. We had lots of gifts to open & our tree was beautiful. I guess it just didn't feel very special without family. I am holding out for Christmas 2012 when my famil of 4 will be together & maybe even some family from the states could join us over here-that would be AWESOME! On a side note, I love love love saying we are a family of 4! I have 2 babies, 2 children...blessed am I :)

Ok, as far as general life goes everything is harder. Between the Germans & the army we have to jump through 20,000 hoops to get anything done-like driving our car or getting Internet or plugging in a friggin' lamp. In some of our bedrooms our electricity is set up only to work if the overhead light is on. What?? Yes, so none of the outlets work unless the overhead light is on. Forget about alarm clocks or night lights or noise machines. We even tried turning on the overhead & unscrewing the lightbulb, but the lightbulb has to be making an actual electric connection so that didn't work. We called our landlord about it 2 weeks ago & nothing. Our car needs new a remewed registration for post & in order to give us a new registration they have to keep our plates for 24 hours so no car for 24 hours. Make sense? Not to me, but it must to the army. I can't go see a German OB until the Americans give me a blood test proving I'm pregnant so I get to take Baby Girl to two appointments instead of one. If you wait in line for a hour and half for an inspection or a carwash or anything really, the workers can say "sorry-it's our lunch break" come back in an hour and wait again. Customer service seems non-existant. SO, if you thought living in Germany was a fun-filled fabulous life, think again! haha, I think it will get better. Everyone says this is a great duty station. Evidence of it is bound to turn up to support that statement sooner or later.

Travel? Well, maybe if my husband was ever home! I see more of my daughter who sleeps 16 hours a day than him. Deep breath & "Serenity Now" :):) Any Seinfield fans out there?

Ahhhhh, doesn't it feel good to get things off your chest? I try not to be a complainer, but some days I give in. Today was one of those!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-30T03:47:00.001-05:00

Thanksgiving this year was very army-ish. It wasn't bad at all & honestly, I'm kind of glad it happened the way it did because it absolutely sums up our life right now. It is a really ususual, but fun memory.

We are, as you know, living in a hotel in Germany while we wait for our new awesome apartment to get finished (only about a week left of waiting!). In our room there is only a microwave & a mini fridge, but our friend's room has an actual stove. I guess a dog trumps a baby in determining who gets the penthouse :) We were originally going to spend Turkey Day in Prague, but at the last minute changed or minds & our friends invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner in their room. We brought a pumpkin pie, vanilla ice cream, some wine, & bread (all bought of course!). They provided turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, gravy, & bread as well. It was sooooo yummy! Baby Girl had sweet potatoes for the first time & loved them (later, she threw them up, but she loved them at first). She wore her "First Thanksgiving" bib & was decked out in her cute fall clothes :) It is such a fun memory! After we fed Baby Girl we put her on the bed & let her play while we enjoyed our adult meal. She was perfect! Just played by herself while we ate. We had such a good time.

The next morning, we caught a train to Prague which was amazing as ever. We just love that city! It was different being there with a baby, but she was, once again, perfect! We stayed right dowtown about a 5-minute walk from the Charles Bridge so when it was naptime we just went home & let her nap & then back out again. We had delicious food, went to the Christmas market, had warm mulled wine, & roasted chestnuts while surrounded by Christmas lights & American Christmas carols! It was amazing & I loved it. It was COLD, but we all dressed appropriately & stayed comfortable. We have this snowsuit for Baby Girl & it is hilarious. We call her the "pink marshmellow" or the "toasted marshmellow" :) It didn't matter how cold it got outside, when we took her out of that thing she was toasty warm! It's magical. The only thing that got cold on her was her nose :)

Note that this was the ONLY color they offered so although Pepto Bismal is not my favorite color, it was our only option. I told Hubby I'm glad we have a girl because they seriously did not offer anything else at the PX. But Baby Girl looks stinkin' adorable even in Pepto Bismal pink :)

Hat & coffee are a must!

A happy duo :)

Our favorite Eastern European candy!!

Sooo...last night

2010-11-23T02:12:00.000-05:00

Last night Hubby & I fell asleep at 8pm & woke up at 4am wide awake! But guess who was still asleep? Thank goodness that kid sleeps in. I made some coffee (in the pitch dark of couse) & read while Hubby watched Seinfeld.. Then we watched an alien movie that was on TV called "The Day the Earth Stood Still".

It was unusual, but kind of fun! I felt like a teenager :)

Cereal Face plus snuggling with my girl :)

2010-11-22T09:11:00.002-05:00

A Different Sort of Living

2010-11-18T02:39:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not talking about the Germans, silly. I'm talking about living out of a hotel room! Different? Yes. Awful? Surprisingly, not really.

I don't know if it's God's Grace or my low maintenance, but it could be a lot worse. The biggest issue we have run across is Baby Girl sharing a room with us at bedtime. She knows we are staying awake & she wants to hang out. We didn't have any problems at my mom's or Hubby's mom's house. I guess because I would take her into a dark room & sing a song to her & she would just be so sleepy. Maybe back then she thought that I was going to go to sleep too, just in different room? I don't know. But, now, she looks over my shoulder at her daddy & smiles & waves (her lastest trick) & then when I lay her down, she cries. She's very inconsistent with her crying. She doesn't cry every night. Night before last she went down without a peep. But then last night she cried for like 10 minutes & that was after I had tried to comfort her about 3 times & she had stayed up 1-2 hours later than normal. The good thing is that once she's down, she's down. She is back to sleeping between 10-12 hours a night. Of course she still makes all kinds of baby noises that make me hold my breath because I think she's going to wake up. Those of you who sleep with your baby or allow your baby to sleep in a basinette in your room or whatever, I seriously don't know how you do it! Babies are loud sleepers!!

Another issue living in a hotel raises is it's amazing shrinking abilities. Did you know that hotel rooms shrink? I did not know that. It's a phenomenon that only occurs if you live in one longer than a week. It was plenty big a week & a half ago when we got here...but now? Definitely shrinking. There is one chair. One wardrobe. 2 dressers thank goodness. 2 sinks (one for the bathroom & one for washing dishes). It does, however, have the one main thing I cannot live without: a coffeepot. Yes, yes, yes where there is coffee, I will be ok. I even bought some "Seattle's Best" with a ration card! Coffee is rationed along with gas, cigarettes, & hard liquor.

The only other thing I miss is a bathtub. Generally speaking, I do not take a lot of baths. In fact, the only time I really take baths is when I'm freezing. Which I was last night. Baby Girl & Hubby were grizzly bear warm, but I could NOT get comfortable. So, instead of taking a nice hot bath & drinking hot cocoa, I crawled under the covers & went to sleep. Voila! An hour later, I was warm :)

To counteract the missing bathtub is our very friendly German housekeeper who is now my friend. She loves Baby Girl so I love her. That's how it works right? You work your way into a woman's heart through her baby? :)

And, of course, I have books. Lots & lots of books. That last sentence just makes me feel warm & fuzzy.

There is one sort of problem living in a hotel with your army husband & your infant. It's called PT (physical training). And it starts next week probably at 5:30 or 6. OH NO. Currently, Hubby leaves at 7:45 so it's no biggie if he wakes us up...which, coincidentally, he does every morning. I'm not sure if he is loud (but I think he is) or if the room is just too small to not hear him (maybe), but if Baby Girl starts waking up at 5:30 I am going to be one miserable momma.

We'll see. But for now, I have coffee & I have Internet & I'm pretty happy!

The Move Across The Pond

2010-11-11T12:47:00.000-05:00

I thought giving birth was the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Nope. I would rather have 5 babies than try to repeat Sunday's events.
AWFUL.

Let's recap.
At Hubby's parents', before leaving the airport, everything went pretty well. My dad didn't eat, but that is normal when he is nervous. We had to say good-bye to Bella, but that was expected. At the airport, my parents, Hubby's parents, & Hubby's godmother all cried when we left to board the plane. That was expected, but still very hard. I almost cried, but held it together.

Then the real fun started. As we were going through security, we were informed that they had closed the gate. Were we late? No. Were we dawdling? No. Apparantly at that particular airport it is ok to leave early if they feel like it. Anyway, so we dont have our shoes on & our stuff is still being scanned & we have to grab everything & RUN! We almost got left! Were it not for Hubby's godmother coming to the rescue, we wouldn't have made it. Stressful already!

The plane from WV to DC was teeny tiny & hot & noisy. Of course Baby Girl didn't sleep; so Hubby made her bottle while I held her (BTW: I had to start supplementing my nursing with formula).   It just so happened that the can of formula we brought was brand new. So when he popped the tab it exploded from the change in air pressure and he got coated in baby formula! :-) We just looked at each other and laughed. It was kind of a stress reliever after rushing onto the plane. At that point we were still laughing at the bumps in the road.

Then we got to DC & boarded a much nicer plane. At this point, I still had hope. The plane was laid out with 2 seats near a window, an aisle, 5 seats in the midde, an aisle, & then 2 more seats by a window. The 3 of us got the 3 middle seats in the row of 5. YAY!! (That was sarcasm in case you missed it). So we were wedged in the middle seats.  Baby Girl wouldn't sleep. Instead, right before dinner was served & right after everyone got their drinks she pooped! A green nasty poop. So I then asked the awkward foreign pre-teen next to me to please let me out. She was compliant, but unfortunately spilled her apple juice. Just on the tray though, so it's no crisis. OK, has anyone ever changed a diaper in an airplane bathroom? Not fun. Not even alright. It's actually a total drag.

However, we got through it & headed back to our seat.  Baby Girl was getting sleepy at this point so we put her in her carseat & gave her a bottle in hopes that she would sleep. It worked for about 2 hours. She woke up sweating like crazy! We had a carseat blanket thingy on the carseat & I guess it works really well! She was burning up in there poor baby. It will come in handy for Germany at least. Well, that was all the sleep she got. We played with her for awhile & let her watch some TV (desperate times call for desperate measures).

Then we landed & were the last people off the plane & the last people to get our luggage. We had to go wait in this holding area with all the other army families arriving in Germany. They told us that there would be somebody along to brief us very soon and that we needed to stay in the waiting area. No time for food or phone calls.  So we wait & wait & wait. Wait for the briefing, wait for orders, wait and wait for the bus. Baby Girl still hasn't slept.

Three plus hours later we got on the bus. Guess what Baby Girl did? She pooped.  AGAIN! yay. I had no more clothes in her diaper bag & the rest of our stuff was under the bus. She pooped SO MUCH that it leaked through her clothes. So we changed her & just wrapped her up in a blanket. Then a little later, Baby Girl lost her cool in a big, big way. She SCREAMED her little heart out. I felt so bad. I felt bad for her because she was so exhausted & I felt bad for the entire rest of the bus trying to sleep.

Hubby finally calmed her down by standing in the aisle and singing to her till she fell asleep. So she FINALLY took a nap. When the bus stopped for McDonalds, we (ok, Hubby, not me) dug through her clothes under the bus to find something to wear. Because of her nap she was in a good mood at this point, thank goodness. About an hour later I realized that I was sitting on butt paste. Yes, the tube of butt paste was under me and I got butt pasted. It was not only all over me, but all over the seat and even on Hubby. Great. Then when we're cleaning up the mess, we ran out of wipes. Great.

FINALLY, like 8 billion hours later, we arrived in the place where we are temporarily staying.  Luckily there was someone there to drive our stuff, but unluckily me & Hubby & Baby Girl had to walk 3 blocks in the cold to our hotel. I know, it's not that far, but all 3 of us were so tired we could barely drag our feet. And, THEN, when we got to the hotel we were talking to Hubby's sponsor and found out that Hubby has to go to the field for 3 months before he deploys. Excellent. I lost my marbles. I just wanted to go back home so bad.

One last thing. This actually put things in perspective for me. When we called home from the hotel to let family know we made it safe I found out that a very close relation of mine has melanoma. Suddenly, living in Germany didn't seem too bad after all.

Now, we have orgainzed our hotel home & we're ok for awhile. Hopefully, we will get an apartment before Thanksgiving & also meet some people soon!

Army life thoughts

2010-11-10T10:17:00.001-05:00

As I am still trying to record our trip from America to Germany, this post is a fill-in. Today I met some army wives & hung out with them. They were very nice & helpful & talked about army life & details that I need to know. I am thankful that they took the time to hang out with me & get to know me a little bit. I had a good day.

But what I'm thinking is that maybe I am just not cut out for the army life. In a way, I think that doesn't make sense because this is where God has me. But in another way, I can't do everything well so maybe this is a temporary period in my life that will be a challenge. I just don't like the army life. I don't mind the hotel & I can deal with Chris being gone (not talking deployment here, I mean just gone for weekends or whatever), but I really don't like army bases. I really don't like all the rigid structure of the army & how masculine it all feels. I don't like how my husband has so very little freedom to do what he wants when he wants, etc. I don't like the alcohol or the crude jokes. I don't even like how because I am a wife (with a baby no less!) I get all this special treatment. It makes me feel like a child.

So maybe this isn't for me. I mean, it is for now because it has to be, but maybe we are just supposed to do the 4-year thing & then God will take us somewhere else. I sure hope so! Today, the girls showed me their neighborhood & I thought "this is nice housing, but I don't know that I would want to live here". It's ALL army families. It's like a cult or something. I think it's a great theory-put people together that are dealing with the same things. Great theory, but not for me. I want my family & I want my best friends. Am I wrong? I want to be with people who are different than me. I am still jet-lagged so I may be doing a poor job of explaining things, but I want diversity. I don't want to be surrounded by friggin' army everything!!

I really miss home right now so I probably have a bad attitude. I just wish the 3 of us could go home & settle down near our friends & family. I want to have another baby & not worry about deployment. I want my dog & my cat to be able to live with us. I miss everyone so much. Things will get better.

Up late packing

2010-11-06T00:33:00.000-04:00

Holy. Guacamole.

Packing up our life. Again. It's like that Tim McGraw chorus "over & over again"...

When will the madness stop??????
I am so so lucky I am married to a man who takes responsibility for me & our baby daughter. It is midnight fifteen here & he is packing, packing, packing. I would help him (and I am when he asks me to) but he is by far the best packer I know. He is fitting a lot of life into our luggage :)

So far, army life has been major crap. So far, it is totally not my thing. But I remind myself that this is what God has chosen for me during this season of life so I guess it is my thing! This is my army life as far as living situations go (as best we can tell...it may change):

1 year-ROTC
6 months-BOLC
6 months-overseas
1 year-back to the states
6 months-back overseas
6 months-captain's career course (back in the states)

Friggin' ridiculous if you ask me. Not that anyone is or anything. *sigh*

We are leaving very shortly to go to Europe. I think I will like it once we get over there. It is kind of a bummer that I will only be there for about 6 months (nothing is in stone yet). It's like I want my life to be somewhere-either here or there. Traveling overseas for half of a year with an infant is a DRAG! Of course, Hubby is worth it. OF COURSE! I would never choose to be apart from him just for convenience sake. I hope Baby Girl adjusts ok to the time change. We will be uber-dependant on God those first few days with her schedule plus finding an apartment, etc.

I am so tired that this post may not even be making sense! I will probably read it tomorrow & see how it is total gibberish :)

On another front, we are hopefully going to be getting pregnant sometime in the next year! It is so funny because with our first we were super secretive about it & now we are announcing it to the world. Funny how things change. If we do get pregnant, then we would have 2 babies & I love the thought of that! We would have a little baby & a big baby. Baby Girl will always be my baby though! Of course, God may have other plans for us. Only time will tell!!

Preparing for a new adventure

2010-09-15T10:48:00.001-04:00

Another adventure? Really, another one? Having a baby & moving across the country wasn't a big enough adventure for me? Well, maybe it was & maybe it wasn't, but another one is coming fast! Moving to Oklahoma wasn't exactly my kind of adventure anyway. More like, forced labor :)

Now, going back to Europe is right up my alley, but even that is bittersweet for me. All because of Baby Girl. Oh, sweet sweet baby girl. I am excited to go back to Europe. I have missed it terribly. Living in Europe is not like living anywhere in America... well, I haven't lived everywhere in America or anything, but it wasn't like living anywhere I had lived. Living overseas changes you and challenges you in ways that living at home cannot. That's not to say that God doesn't change and challenge you in other ways if you don't live overseas because of course He does. He obviously has a special plan for everyone & they are all different! All that to say that He used my time in Europe intensely. It was such a purifying time because I had no "comforts". I had hot water & food & those comforts but I didn't have my mom or my church or my best friends (although at the end of 2 years I had made several new best friends!) so I had to depend on God alone or perish. It was HARD-make no mistake about that. I cried a lot, but it made me a stronger woman and a stronger Christian.

Going back this time will be different. I am not going soley to do ministry (but I hope I manage to do some anyway). I am going with my family (Hubby & Baby Girl) so I won't be alone. So, I wonder if God will use my time in Europe again. I can't imagine He will use it as much, but I know that He could if He chose to do that. I feel that I am once again a weak Christian so maybe He will use it to make me strong again like He did before. I would like that even if it meant hard times again.

Anyway, onto the bitter part. Baby Girl. Any good parent wants the best for their babies. I try to give Baby Girl the best. Not the latest or greatest gadget, but what I believe to be the best. Love, boundaries, safety, assurance, freedom to be herself, guidance, etc. I left one thing off that list: family. I want her to know her family. I want her to know her grandparents & cousins & her aunts & uncles. I do mean biological family, but I also mean family in the sense of people who are sometimes closer than a blood family. Are you following? I have some BEST friends who I would die for without thinking & I want Baby Girl to know them as much as she knows my sister or Hubby's 'brother' J. I want her to grow up knowing these "aunts" & their children, her "cousins". She won't call them that of course, but I plan on being involved with these people until I leave this earth, so I hope that she comes to love them as I love them, as family. I may not have money & I may not have a great fashion sense, but God has blessed me abundantly with AMAZING best friends. Between me & Hubby, we also have a pretty amazing family...biologically speaking I mean :)

Wow-I am really carrying on today! All THAT to say the bitter part is leaving our family behind. Not for us because we have long memories & we know 2 years is not forever, but for Baby Girl who will no longer be a baby when we live in the states again. Baby Girl who will not recognize her "aunts" when she's sees them in person. It makes me want to cry knowing that she won't know the awesomeness that is Aunt Fancy or "cousin" I or her biological cousins B & O. And, her grandparents. Skype is a wonderful thing & I have high high hopes that she will recognize her grandparents when she sees them in the flesh. But she wont know what they smell like or how their arms feel holding her. She wont know that she has a special place in their homes that's just for her. She wont know the dogs that go along with the people!

Sad, huh? Sad, but temporary. I find peace in knowing that 2-year-olds don't have great memories so when she is 12 she won't know that she didn't know her family when she was 2. Confused yet? Re-read it, you'll get it :)

In other news, Baby Girl is sleeping through the night & smiling all the time!! What a happy baby who brings MUCH joy to my life!

I still can't wait to have more. I want more, like, stat! I get excited just thinking about it. Maybe I'll even have twins! I would love that...I think ;) Hubby is ready for more also. I am making myself wait until Baby Girl turns one. It's taking forever!! Haha, just kidding. I am enjoying the ride for now.

The Haps

2010-08-19T09:43:00.000-04:00

Weeeeeeeell, not much has been going on lately.

I still want to have another baby really bad. One of my BFF's is pregnant & wouldn't it be great to be pregnant with her? (Maybe not the best reason to get pregnant, but still). One of my other friends just brought home twin girls & I am green with envy. (Really, ask Hubby). However, last night I laid in bed at 11pm & tried to imagine those first few days when you get no sleep & I was thankful that Baby Girl is sleeping better...although STILL not sleeping thru the night! I guess she'll figure it out eventually. She sleeps thru the night anywhere from 2-4 times a week.
As far as getting pregnant, me & Hubby discussed it 2 nights ago & figured out different scenerios & we have decided that unless God deems otherwise we are going to wait. Mostly, because if I got pregnant now, the baby would be born in Germany & we would rather wait until we are back in the states (well, me at least. Hubby will probably be deployed somewhere. *sniffle*).

Last night we had a meat salesman stop by at our house. Seriously. Even more random, we bought $85 worth of meat! It's a lot of steaks though for about $3 a pop. Hope it tastes good! I didn't even know door to door salespeople even existed still. Kids, sure...but like adults trying to make a living, I thought those professions had died out. But, what do I know?

My goals are going pretty good. I am definitely reading more to Baby Girl. I finished my Bible Study scrapbook. I am not doing so hot with the non-fiction & reading news articles, but I am still trying. Working out is kind of hit or miss week to week. I will say my stomach is starting to shrink so I must be doing something right. I can fit into all of my jeans, but a couple of them look painted on :) Hubby likes those ;)

My sis came & visited us which was fun.

Yeah, that's about all! Like I said, not much happening :)
Now, if you were interested in what is going on in the literary world, we could probably talk for hours!

August Goals

2010-08-01T11:10:00.004-04:00

I like 'em. I'm a goal kinda girl. And, this month, I've got lots.
But I'm excited to try to attack them & make them submit :) Some of my daily goals are....

1.) To read a Yahoo News Article every day. Just one a day. No biggie. Problem is that I am not into the news. Which isn't a problem for everyone, but it is for me. Because I want to know what's going on in my country & around the world. I think it's important. I want to be able to hear an Obama speech & know what the heck he's talking about. So one news article a day for now. For August at least...

2.) To make my bed. Every day. Pretty self-explanatory I think.

3.) To take 20 mins every day to read non-fiction. You see, there are lots of non-fiction books I want to read (books like...You on a Diet, Becoming Babywise, Super Baby Food). I'm really good at buying them, but not so good at reading them. I am making progress...just not the progress I want. And, no time is not an issue. I read 13 fiction books this month. No joke. 13. I counted them.

4.) To spend some intimate time with God each day. Not massive amounts, just some. Shouldn't be too hard. Shouldn't being the key phrase here.

5.) To read to Baby Girl 20 mins a day. I cannot tell you how many articles I have read that emphasize the importance of reading to your baby. I really really really want this one to happen. The roadblock with this one is that baby books are just boring. But I guess I better get over it since I will be reading them for a long long time. I dont know any kids that read James Patterson :)

Then I have a couple of weekly goals...

1.) Exercise 3x a week. Right now, I am getting in 1-2 workouts. Time to step it up!!

2.) Scrapbook 2hours a week. 2 hours a week!! That's nothing! I mean, come on! I am ridiculous. There are several scrapbooks waiting on me. My bible study scrapbook (50% finished), my STINT scrapbook from 2006 (75% finished), my army scrapbook (haven't started yet), mmm...that's it I think. And, NO, I am not going to start a scrapbook for Baby Girl. An 18-year project?? No thank you. You did see where I haven't finished the one from 2006, right? I try not to make unrealistic goals, so Baby Girl is only getting a photo album. If I ever have copious amounts of time & creativity, I'll scrapbook her life then.

All that's left is cleaning goals which I wont bore you with. Here's to a productive August!!

*A derogatory comment about Hugh Hefner has been removed (in case you saw some of the comments reference it). I removed it because God told me to :)

Baby Fever

2010-07-29T16:15:00.001-04:00

Holy Guacamole. I seriously have baby fever. Funny thing about that is that I already have a baby. When I was trying to get pregnant with Baby Girl I didn't have baby fever. When all my friends at church starting having babies, I didn't get baby fever. When I got married I didn't get baby fever. But, NOW, that I actually have a baby, I have baby fever.

Maybe it's because Baby Girl makes my heart swell with joy and love and happiness. Maybe it's because I love being a mommy so so so much. Maybe it's because it feels like this is what I am meant to do. Maybe it's because I live in a town with no friends and no family & Hubby works all the time so Baby Girl is the only part of my life right now with any substance & I want to recreate it. Maybe it's because God has placed that desire in me for a reason.

I dunno! BUT, it does feel crazy to have a baby who hasn't even rolled over yet & want another so bad I can't see straight. I do tend to exaggerate btw :) I was never even excited to be pregnant...I never really looked forward to holding Baby Girl or anything. I did vaguely wonder what she would like her (spitting image of her father...poo). This desire has most definitely taken me by surprise. I am not going to rush out and get pregnant again or anything. I'm way too scared to do that. Wanting and ready are two different things I think.

But, seriously, check out this chick & tell me how I could not possibly want more of this wonderfulness...

Bucket List

2010-07-15T14:52:00.002-04:00

Yep, 'tis true. I am going to make a bucket list. I am pretty sure I made one of these years ago in some journal. But there is no way I am going to go digging around in my emotions from 8ish years ago to find it! No thank you, I'll keep my present day :)

First thing on my bucket list (I never saw that movie...why is it called that? Seems pretty random! Did the movie coin that term or was it already in existance? Anyway...) is playing the piano. I have a gorgeous old piano just waiting on me at my parents house. It is just normal but the legs are curvy...the legs swirl around like the top of an ice cream cone. Wish I had a picture. It really is so pretty. I miss it.

Not only do I have a piano, but I took lessons for maybe a year or two in maybe middle school. Details are fuzzy :) I have super duper long skinny fingers & they LOVED playing piano. My piano teacher's husband's mother died & they apparantly got a nice enough inheritance so she quit. Don't blame her. Anyhoo, that's why I quit.

But I will play again...one day. One day when we have a house of our own. One day when we are in one place long enough to take lessons. One day maybe me & Baby Girl can take lessons together! That would be a dream come true. Seriously.

Maximum Ride: Saving The World & Other Extreme Sports Book Review

2010-07-09T18:13:00.000-04:00

Ok, I have to admit that I have never read an adult James Patterson novel. I hesitate using the word "novel" because in my mind that word is reserved for some loftier genre of literature other than mystery or romance, but I have no idea what, if any, difference there is between a book and a novel.

Anyway, this was a first for me. Of course it's classified as Young Adult since I can't seem to pull myself away from that genre of books. In fact, tonight I am planning on going to the library with Hubby & I am 99% sure that the Young Adult section will be the only one I venture into while there. Although I did buy the book "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson, I haven't started reading it yet. This week I have read "Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins, "Trickster's Queen" by Tamora Pierce, & of course "Maximum Ride" by James Patterson. No, I don't read like a speed demon...I just read multiple books at once & I tend to subconsciously pace myself so I finish them all about the same time. No idea why. I am also almost done with a fourth ("As Sure As The Dawn" by Francine Rivers).

Anyway, I promise I am going to review this book in this post. I loved it! Which surprised me. I read a lot of books (duh), but I don't love a lot of books. In fact, I only love probably 5-10% of the books I read. It was simple of course. It was extremely light reading...I started & finished it today...even while taking care of a 12-week-old! Who will be waking up any minute now so I better hurry! But there is just something about these bird kids that I loved. They have sass & they have heart. The good news is that this was the 3rd book in a series of 7...so far! I have no idea how many Mr. Patterson plans on writing, but I plan on reading them. They may not stay good...you know how normally the more books or movies are made, the less satisfying they are (except with trilogies...3 can be a magical number).

I wouldn't recommend these books to everybody because like I said they are very light reads. But I'll tell you what, James Patterson can write! He had me flipping those pages so fast! He kind of lost my interest a little tiny bit at the end...things maybe worked out a little bit too cleanly if you know what I mean, but overall a very fun read! I am very interested in reading one of his adult novels to see if he "beefs" them up at all. If he doesn't, I think I will be disappointed because if these were written for adults, I would not have liked them so much. I think it's normal to alter your expectations when you consider the audience.

For example, I saw "The Last Airbender" with Hubby & I just hope that the movie was M. Night Shymalan's attempt at a movie geared to a younger audience. If not, then I have to say that other than awesome special affects, it wasn't very good. But thinking it was made for children makes it a much better movie. I have no idea what his intentions were, by the way, I'm just sayin'.

Also, they are supposedly making Maximum Ride into a movie which could be pretty cool. The concept of flying kids is unique right now (unlike, say, vampires!!!) & it could actually be a very pretty movie. I mean, wings are gorgeous, right?? I think I would have to read the original Maximum Ride book to see what I think about a movie cuz I'm sure that's the one they would turn into a movie.

Alrighty, that's all I got.
Happy Reading!!

I'm off to re-read the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare
You know they are awesome because I am RE-reading them. I just bought them all in hardback & can't wait to indulge in the fiction decadence!!

Moment by Moment

2010-07-07T17:18:00.000-04:00

"Being filled with the Spirit is not a one-time event, but a moment by moment experience". So says Catherine Martin.
Bill Bright agrees with her. He writes, "Every day can be an exciting adventure for the Christian who has discovered the key to supernatural living, for such a person knows the reality of being filled with the Holy Spirit and lives constantly, moment by moment, under His gracious guidance and love".

It is so simple too. Just ask. Well, first confess any sin & then ask. Bill Bright calls this spiritual breathing (exhale the sin, inhale the Holy Spirit). I tried it a few minutes ago. I really tried to think of sin & a few things came to mind, but I know I sin constantly & not that much came to mind. Being lazy is always a biggie for me. Also not believing the best in people...which if I'm being honest I think very few people in this world do that one very well. I'm happy to report that my husband is the only person I know that does that with any consistency. It's just too easy to point our fingers and say "It's your fault & you should know better".
Anyway, back on topic. I tried spiritual breathing & I'm hoping to keep it up. I don't feel any different, but at least for today I communicated with God for a few minutes which is more than I did yesterday. I like this moment by moment concept because it's not a big mountain to climb. It's just seems simple to me. Me & simple get along.

One other thing that Bill Bright wrote struck me. He writes, "The Holy Spirit has come to give us a supernatural life more wonderful than the human mind can conceive or comprehend".

Umm, yeah, I want that please.

Baby Chubb

2010-07-01T10:45:00.000-04:00

I can't get this baby weight off of me. Now, I have gained weight before. Lots of weight. I gained 40 pounds my freshmen year of college (I blame the beer for that one!). 40 pounds in one year (one school year-9 months)! To me, that is a lot. But then I lost it. I have gained & lost weight my entire life. It doesn't take much to gain it & it doesn't take much to lose it. Until now. This baby chubb is sticking to me like glue. I am breastfeeding which must be helping because everyone says it does. The problem is not so much the number on the scale because it is almost to my pre-baby number (about 4 pounds over is all). The problem is that even though I am losing weight, I am not losing baby chubb. I don't know where I am losing it but it is not my gut. My gut. Even when I was 40 pounds overweight, I did not have a gut quite like this. I hate it!! It is one of those guts that people will say "What gut? You dont have a gut! Shut up about it already". But the thing is for me, it is a gut that I have never had before. Yes, a T-shirt will cover it up, but I can still see it in the shower & my husband still sees it & it makes me feel bad so I will whine about it if I want to thank you very much.

So, now the problem remains how to deal with the gut. Let me tell you why this is a problem. I do not like working out. Cutting calories? No problem. Eat less? No problem. Since those actions aren't working, I am forced to consider exercise. Which I don't like. Actually, hate is a more acurate word. Really, I'm not kidding. I don't even like carrying in groceries from the car because I have to use my arm muscles! I am the queen of lazy. Kind of embarassing, but there you have it.

Lucky me, I talked to one of my favorite people yesterday, Ms. Nutrition, & she has motivated my butt. You can go to exercisetv.com & do free exercise videos. I did one yesterday! It was a dance one & it wasn't too bad. I also bought Dr. Roizen & Dr. Oz's book "You on a Diet" which was $26.99!! Yikes! But I had a 33% off coupon & $5 in Borders Bucks so I only paid $13. Still pretty expensive, but when I think about all the food I waste money on (one meal in a restaurant is like 30 bucks) I think something that I can read & reread & keep for years is probably worth more than something that is here today, gone tomorrow.

So, just to lay it out. Ms. Nutrition is getting married in October & I am a Bridesmaid. It is my goal to be a size 8. I was smaller than that when I got married 2 years ago, but I am taking things one day at time. I don't just want to fit into a size 8, I want to be a size 8. I want my stomach & my thighs to be a size 8. So, wish me luck! Here we go!

Saturday fun

2010-06-26T11:35:00.001-04:00

I love Saturday mornings. Not because I got to sleep in (because I didn't), not because Hubby isn't working (because he is), & not because we have weekend plans (because we don't). Nope, I love Saturday mornings because of Saturday morning cartoons!! I LOVE them! I watch Qubo. My favorite cartoon is "Jane & the Dragon", my second favortie is "Willa's Wild Life", & my third favortie is "3-2-1 Penguins" :)

Even when I was working full-time (which included weekends), every Saturday I had off I made sure I got up early enough to watch my cartoons. Hubby watches them with me when he can. They are really good!!

I can't wait until Baby Girl is big enough to watch them with me. I just know it will be a favorite family tradition. Along with Sunday afternoon naps :) I love her age right now (10 weeks). She is very easy to manage (as long as she is happy!) & she takes regular naps so I still have a lot of time to do things I want to do. But I do think about when she is older & how much fun we will have playing tea party & coloring & playing in the baby pool. I will have someone to play with-how fun! I look forward to having conversations with her & teaching her about things she doesn't understand & making cookies with her. Sounds fun!

I shouldn't say I "can't wait" because I can. I don't want to wish away her baby stage because it is precious & fleeting. I want to remember the times when she wakes up & wants to snuggle. I want to remember when her feet were too little to wear all the cute shoes she has in her closet. I want to remember having to hold her little head up because she can't hold it up herself. I even want to remember those special middle of the night feedings when it's just the two of us & it's quiet & intimate. Even Bella stays in her bed at 4am! :)

I want to remember this:

True to form

2010-06-24T14:07:00.002-04:00

Well, my unproductive self has been staying true to form this week. Four days of opportunity have only yielded one day of any actual action on my part. What is my problem?? Hubby made a to-do list for me (it helps me) so on Monday I was super hyped up to get stuff done. I paid the bills, made the bed, did the dishes, studied my Bible, & did laundry. Wow-that was a good day (a REALLY REALLY good day if you are me!). Then on Tuesday, I made the bed. Yes-that's all. Then on Wednesday, I took a walk. Yes-that's all. Then today, I have done nothing. Yes-seriously nothing.

The funny thing is that Baby Girl's room is anally organized. Her clothes are SUPER organized as in no one better move anything because I have a system & I like it, her blankets stay folded & put away, her socks all match each other, her stuffed animals sit in a nice little row, her books sit in a nice little basket, & if there is ever anything on her floor, I pick it up. (I know-picking stuff up off the floor-what a concept!) It is like there is a secret part of me that is released when it comes to her. I definitely think it is a good thing...I just wish it bleed over onto other areas of my life. Areas like the kitchen & the living room :)

Today, I will vacuum or die.

"Life of Pi" Book Review

2010-06-22T18:43:00.000-04:00

ok, weird. But not bad, really. At first I really didn't like it, but it grew on me. I think it goes slowly in the beginning & I still fail to see exactly how relevant those details about Pi's life are that take place during the first third of the book.

Let me back up.

The "Life of Pi" is written by Yann Martel & is about a boy/teenager/man named Piscine who goes by Pi for short. It is about his upbringing, but mostly it's about a shipwreck that leaves him stranded on a lifeboat with a Spotted Hyena, a Zebra, an Orangutan, & a Bengal Tiger. It is one of those stranded stories about survival. (Robinson Crusoe by Daniel DeFoe, The Open Boat by Stephen Crane, Cast Away, etc.)

The use of animals is one of my favorite aspects in this book. Which may be so obvious to most readers, but when I picked up the book to read it, I didn't know what it was about. I don't really know why I picked it up, but I think I had heard of it before or something. So, anyway, the use of animals was really intriging to me. In the first part of the book, the author talks about "animalus anthropomorphicus" which basically means giving human attributes to animals. Like, in your mind, you turn a grizzly bear into a fuzzy, huggable creature because you think bears act like humans. But, really they are bears. Dogs are dogs, but a lot of people think dogs have the same brain capacity as children. They really don't. So what is up with all these animals? Tiger=alpha dawg. Hyene=crazy. Zebra=sweet. Orangutan=brave. Are these attributes of Pi's?

It is also a coming of age story. Pi, in a sense, morphs from a scared boy into a man who becomes dominant over the tiger. That part I understand. After this, however, they (Pi & the tiger...the only animal who survives in the lifeboat) end up on an island that "eats" anything warm blooded at night. By eat, I mean fries them alive. Really strange stuff. Over my head I assume.

I don't really know. It was very interesting, but I'm not sure what it's bigger purpose is (I only assume there is a bigger purpose than entertainment), or what the author is trying to say. I probably wouldn't recommend it, but it was on the best seller's list (whose? I'm not sure!) so maybe I am missing something. Every once in awhile I try to venture out of my Young Adult world, but this time I was unsuccessful. It is amazing to me that I have a degree in English & love books as much as I need oxygen, but still can read a book & be like "what the...?"

Anyway, this is my first book review so sorry it's not stellar.
I don't really know which books to review & which ones not to...but I think I'll stick to easier ones :)
Happy Reading!!

A.W. Tozer thoughts

2010-06-21T11:02:00.001-04:00

I just don't think I am ever going to get it. This elusive "abundant" spiritual life. I just don't get it. It's not about a spiritual to-do list. There is no special formula. Even if I read my bible, pray, & meditate on scripture, I still may not get it. Maybe I am just too literal or maybe I rely too heavily on tangible goals, but I don't think I will ever have the abundant life that scripture outlines (Power in the Holy Spirit, praying unceasing, counting it all as loss, intimacy with Christ, etc). Maybe I am just not dedicated enough to the cause if you know what I mean. Maybe I only say I want this life, but I dont really mean it or I'm not really willing to make the sacrifices in order to get it.

A. W. Tozer. There is a man who got it. In talking about the Power of the Holy Spirit, he says that part of the Spirit's work is to "reveal objects already present & hidden from the soul" & when these objects become aware to a person, he goes on to describe what this effect will have (hope that makes sense!). He writes, "[Christ] is felt to be a real Person & to be intimately, ravishingly near...Prayer loses it's unmeaning quality & becomes a sweet conversation with Someone actually there. Love for God & for the children of God takes possession of the soul. We feel ourselves to be near to heaven & it is now the earth & the world that begin to seem unreal...Then the whole life changes to suit the new reality & the change is permanent". I mean, come on, what child of God wouldn't want that? But the thing is wanting it & having it are quite different. I don't have it. I don't know how to get it. I don't think I will ever have it if I'm being honest.

Going back to what I said in the beginning of this post, the reason I don't know how to get it is because there is nothing tangible I can do to get it. There is no checklist to ensure my success. With Christ, everything is about your heart. So if my heart is defunct, then my life is defunct. No amount of bible reading will fix my heart, right? So, is my heart defunct? I don't understand that because I do know Jesus, His Spirit does reside inside of me so my heart can't be defunct.

See the circles I run in? I-yie-yie.

*Text taken from The Divine Conquest by A.W. Tozer

A dilema

2010-06-11T20:47:00.002-04:00

Things are just crazy. I have been looking for a new mommy blog & have found nothing. I think it is ridiculous that there are not new mommy blogs that I can go read & laugh & gain knowledge. I know the solution is to maybe turn mine kinda into that...but really, I am simply not dedicated enough to do that. I want the lazy version where I can just go read other people's witty comments & funny stories. Ho Hum...what's a girl to do.

Let me think if Baby Girl has done anything funny lately. She's not really old enough to be funny yet, but she does make me laugh. Everytime she smiles I laugh with joy & to be honest almost every time she toots I laugh out loud :)

She is 8 weeks old today & she still has her beautiful hair. She just started smiling more than once in awhile. She smiles at me now when I smile at her (as long as she isn't hungry!). She doesn't smile as in her mouth curls up at the edges, she smiles as in she opens her entire mouth & cheeses it bigtime! She smiles so big I can see her gums & everytime she does I just about melt. Her daddy is out of town right now so he will be so happy tomorrow when she cheeses at him too!

She is getting on a somewhat normal nap schedule...today she actually went down for a nap without crying! It was the first time ever. Her 2nd nap she fussed for 30 mins before she went to sleep, her 3rd nap she fussed for 20 mins & her 4th nap she only fussed 5 mins. I am so proud of her. Today makes up for yesterday because yesterday was horrid! She cried so much I thought I would go crazy. I am lucky in the fact that she sleeps really well at night.

The girl loves to eat as usual. I love her chubby little thighs! She is precious. Her eyes are still dark blue, but I think they might change because neither me or Hubby have dark blue eyes.

Well, I guess it's easier to talk about being a new mommy than I thought :)

Here's a picture of the little duckling

Yet another reason why everyone loves Bella

2010-06-10T16:02:00.001-04:00

Today Bella made my day.

She was driving me oh-so-crazy this afternoon so I finally went outside with her to play. Upon entering the back yard she proceeds to do about 15 laps (think she was happy to be playing?). Then, she pounces on her toy & attempts to taunt me with it. I have to wonder if she thinks I actually want her dirty, saliva damp rope or she knows I only humor her. Well, Bella isn't exactly a throw-and-fetch kinda dog. She is more like a "chase me! chase me!" kinda dog. And Oklahoma is HOT so needless to say I didn't chase her for very long.

Instead, I decided to water our almost dead lawn. Dead grass is so not a problem in West Virginia so watering is new to me. I know there must be some really excellent way to water a lawn, but I basically just point & shoot with the hose. No, it doesn't get watered evenly & no, it's probably not very effective, but it's all I got. Anyway, in watering the lawn I discovered that Bella is afraid of the water hose! She runs from it like it is poisonous! I sprayed her a couple of times which really freaked her out. She is afraid of the water hose, yet she will lap up bacteria laden water & eat cat poop. What gives?

Well, while I was still watering, a little white doggy stuck it's head through our wooden fence. Bella freezes. Freezes & stares. I guess the little doggy didn't see us because it just hopped right into our yard. So I said "Hi doggy" which caused it to run back out of our yard which lit a fire under Bella's butt to try to follow it. However, Bella is a big dog & will not fit into the opening in our fence so all I could see was a white butt wiggling. Then I think the little white doggy must have run away because Bella proceeded to do about 10 more laps in our yard. I guess she was excited about our visitor :)

It was so funny! I love dogs!!

2010-06-08T21:51:00.000-04:00

Wow. Today was monster un-productive. I think productivity will be something that I struggle with the rest of my life. Every day if I don't fight it, I lose to it. I have a newborn which requires me to be a bit productive, at least in areas concerning her. As in, I feed her & change her & bathe her & cuddle her. But when she is napping, I got nothing. What did I do? I watched Lost, read blogs, watched Lost, read part of "Graceling", watched Lost, ate lunch...ummm...watched Lost. Yeah, my life is pathetic.

I don't work, I only have 1 child who takes naps & I didn't even crack open my bible today...it's the least I could do. I remember a couple of weeks ago when all Baby Girl did was cry & cry & cry & how I was so closer to the Lord because I was constantly feeling the need to lean on Him & I was praying for Him to make it better at 3AM. And now today I didn't even open my Bible. There is so much I need to be seeking Him about- Hubby's placement, making friends in this new town, Baby Girl's sleeping schedule, not to mention praying for others. I just need to be close to Him period. Ay-yie-yie.

So, yeah, productivity is the concept that I have to fight for daily, practically hourly. I long to be like those people who rise @ 6AM, clean their kitchen, take a walk, & do whatever else those people do. I rise at the last possible minute, am lucky if I get a shower in, open the door so the dog can go outside & sometimes don't even eat because it's too much work! Not every day is like that, but every day easily could be if I didn't make a conscious decison for it to be different.

Ahhhh, tommorrow is another day with a clean slate & endless possibilites :)

The Abundant Life

2010-06-04T10:47:00.000-04:00

So, I started a new bible study about the Holy Spirit. I needed to have something to do every day! I'm not so good at "self-study" :)

Anyway, the author told me to "talk with God today about your life. Ask Him to give you real and abundant life". Okay, I can talk to God about that.

But, I have no idea what "abundant life" looks like in Oklahoma with a newborn, a dog, a cat, & a soldier. What should I be striving for & if I don't know what to be striving for, how will I get there? Does abundant life look like serving others or seriously studying God's word? Or maybe it looks like being a supportive wife? Or Mommy-extradinaire? How do I KNOW what abundant life for me looks like?

I tell God all the time that I want to live out my personal motto since becoming a mommy: "Don't just survive, but thrive". But again, I don't know what thriving looks like. Maybe it's not crying every day or laughing more or being organized & keeping my house clean? Maybe it's having personal hobbies or making friends?

So, I know there isn't a magical answer, but does anyone have insight on how to know when you have "arrived" at this elusive concept of an abundant life? Or how to go about getting there?

Ch-Ch-Changes

2010-05-28T16:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I got a baby now :)

She's pretty & she likes to cry a lot. Well, maybe "like" isn't the correct word, but she does cry a lot. She actually is NOT crying right now so I have a moment (but maybe just one) to play catch up.

We moved-that was hard. We had no furniture for about a week. Not fun when you are breast feeding 8 times a day. We still have about 20 boxes in the garage that remain unopened. But we have the necesities so why bother since we will be moving again in 6 months? Love that army.

Hubby is leaving for 6 days on the field. I get to be alone with no one for company (& no one to help) except a dog, a cat, & a newborn with colic. Sounds like fun, huh? But enough complaining!

I suppose God wants me to be alone. Depend on Him, turn to Him...more like cling to Him with every breath I take! In my head, I know it's a good place to be...utter dependance on God. It's hard though. It seems like this baby is attached to my hip & I guess that's how God wants me to be with Him. The more He takes away, the more I need Him.

On a more positive note, I LOVE not being pregnant anymore!! It's the best ever! My stomach is flat, my pains are gone, I get to button my pants, & NO heartburn!

We have also been blesssed with an amazing house & an amazing back deck & an amazing child. I'm rich in love :)